Cancer Survivors' Fund
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Surviving to Thriving
Weekly Motivational Messages
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Cancer Survivors' Fund
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Weekly Motivational Messages |
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4/20/2008 You
Are What You Believe The
most important quality you can ever develop is having belief in yourself,
the belief that you can, without a shadow of a doubt achieve success in
every area of your life. Virtually every person has the capacity to do
wonderful things with his or her life. But the greatest single obstacle
for most people is self-doubt. Many people wish they could accomplish
certain things but lack the belief that they can actually do it. When
people under achieve in any part of their life, it is their beliefs more
than anything else that hold them back. Self-limiting beliefs act as
breaks on our ability to achieve our goals. Many of us have high hopes,
dreams, and aspirations, but we let doubts creep in and undermine our
talents, abilities, and effectiveness. Each
one of us has feelings of inferiority because we feel that we are not good
enough. We think that we are not as good as other people, and we feel that
we are not good enough to acquire and enjoy the things we want in life.
Often we feel that we don't deserve good things. Even if we work hard and
have some achievements in our life, we often feel that we are not really
entitled to our successes. The
Universal Law of Belief says that whatever we believe, with feeling
becomes our reality. We don't believe what we see; instead, we see what we
believe. Our beliefs form a screen as to how we see the world, and we
never allow any information that is not consistent with our beliefs to
pass through it. Even if we have beliefs that are totally inconsistent
with reality, we won't let them through because our beliefs have become
true for us. The
most common and also the most harmful beliefs are the ones that are
self-limiting. These are beliefs about yourself. For example, believing
that you can't achieve something because you don't have enough money or
education. You might believe you can't achieve something because you are
the wrong sex, race, age, or it is because of the economy. Most of these
beliefs are not true, but they will hold you back nonetheless. The
fact is, you deserve every good thing that you are capable of acquiring
through the use of your talents. The only real limitation on what you can
be and have is if you lack the desire. If you set a goal and want to
achieve it badly enough, nothing in the world can stop you from achieving
it, as long as you're willing to persist long and hard enough. To
develop positive beliefs, you have to decide exactly where you want to end
up in the future. The clearer you are about the result you want in your
future, the easier it will be for you to change your actions and behaviors
in the short term. This in turn, will assure that you achieve what you
want in the long term. Once
you've clearly decided on the type of person you want to be, you will have
already taken a major first step in developing new beliefs. In order to
incorporate your new beliefs into your every day life, you have to
discipline yourself to act exactly in every situation as if you already
were that person. When you begin to act like the successful person you
want to become, you will actually adopt their values, qualities, and
characteristics. And they will then become a permanent part of your
personality. If
you consistently act like the person you want to become every day and in
every situation it will begin a chain reaction. Your attitude will change
and become more positive. This will then build stronger and more positive
beliefs. And your beliefs will then, exert a positive influence on your
values. You
have no limitations on your potential except for those that you believe
you have. Successful people are not extraordinary or special in any way.
They are not different from you or me. But, all successful people do have
the unwavering belief that they can accomplish anything that they really
want in life. You are a good person. From this day forward, see yourself
as the very best you can be, and refuse to accept any limitations on your
possibilities. Once you develop that belief in yourself, and you act in
accordance with your beliefs, your future will be unlimited. Copyright(c) 2004 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc. 4/13/2008 Take A Chance by Ruben Gonzalez "Dream
as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today." Successful people accept responsibility and take action when they see something needs to be done. They move quickly. They don't suffer from paralysis of analysis. They just do something, anything that will get them closer to their goal. By taking action - massive action - they build momentum and soon good things start to happen. One of my business mentors likes to say, "Most people need to think less and act more." Another of my mentors always says, "Done is better than perfect." Another way to say it is - implement now, perfect later. Management expert Tom Peters says, "If you want to succeed, be willing to fail. To succeed big, be willing to fail big. To succeed fast, be willing to fail fast. He's absolutely right. Successful people are willing to try different approaches to reach their goal. They are not worried about failing. They are just focused on the result. They just throw mud on the wall knowing that if they throw enough, some of it will stick. They never focus on the approaches that didn't work. There's no time for that. Wallowing with self pity is for losers. Winners simply learn from their mistakes and quickly try a different approach. The faster they move, the more energy they have. The more different things they try, the more likely they are of succeeding. They make a game out of it. And they never take their focus away from the goal. Their attitude is - there is always a way. I will find a way. I will succeed. A national survey of octogenarians revealed that their biggest regret in life was not having had taken enough risks. Think about that! What they're saying is they realize they did not live life to the fullest and they missed out. When you turn eighty you don't want to have that regret. So go for it. Take a chance. Copyright © 2008 Ruben Gonzalez 4/6/2008 Achievement... We
would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as
impossible. "I
can't do it" never yet accomplished anything; "I will try"
has performed wonders. Throughout
the centuries there were men who took first steps down new roads armed
with nothing but their own vision. Start
by doing what's necessary, then what's possible, and suddenly you are
doing the impossible. To
accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only
plan, but also believe. There
are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen,
those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened. We all
have a choice. You can decide which type of person you want to be. I have
always chosen to be in the first group. Don't
limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can
do. You can go as far as you mind lets you. What you believe, you can
achieve. Most
of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who
have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all. The
reward of a thing well done is to have done it. If
not us, who? If not now, when?
John
F. Kennedy Don't
let what you can't do interfere with what you can do. Never
be satisfied with what you achieve, because it all pales in comparison
with what you are capable of doing in the future. All
good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get. Great
things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought
together. The
future is not a gift - it is an achievement. The
search for wisdom is a great challenge; to act on wisdom is an even
greater challenge. If
life were measured by accomplishments, most of us would die in infancy. There
is no great achievement that is not the result of patient working and
waiting. High
achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation. An
achievement is a bondage. It obliges one to a higher achievement. "Never
regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience." Victoria
Holt 3/30/2008 Moments By
Jorge Luis Borges translated
by Alastair Reid If
I were able to live my life again, next
time I would try to make more mistakes. I
would not try to be so perfect. I would be more relaxed. I
would be much more foolish than I have been. In fact, I
would take very few things seriously. I
would be much less sanitary. I
would run more risks. I would take more trips, I
would contemplate more sunsets, I
would climb more mountains, I
would swim more rivers. I
would go to more places I have never visited. I
would eat more ice cream and fewer beans. I
would have more real problems, fewer imaginary ones. I
was one of these people who lived prudently and
prolifically every moment of his life. Certainly
I had moments of great happiness: Don’t
let the present slip away. I
was one of those who never went anywhere without
a thermometer, a hot water bottle, an
umbrella, and a parachute. If
I could live over again, I
would go barefoot, beginning in
early spring and
would continue so until the end of autumn. I
would take more turns on the merry-go-round. I
would watch more dawns And
play with more children, if
I once again had a life ahead of me. But,
you see, I am eighty-five and
I know that I am dying.
3/23/2008 The
Creativity Creed I
believe that creativity is a natural order of life itself and it provides
my life with the purest of energies. I
believe there is an underlying creative force infusing throughout my life. I
believe that when I open my creativity, I am opening the Creator’s
creativity. I
believe creativity is part of my destiny and just as important as all
living things. I
believe creativity is my Creator’s gift to me. Using my creativity is my
gift back to him. I
believe expectation of a fulfilling life attracts with powerful changes
when I allow creativity to flow through my beingness. I
believe it is safe for me to discover my own creativity even if it sets
new paths not yet discovered. I
believe as I move more towards my creative self, I move towards my own
divinity. I
believe I am worth the time it takes to create whatever it is I am to
create. I
believe I have the right to have all the creativity I deserve. I
believe that when I allow my creativity to flow throughout my life, I tap
into the source of all that there is and all that ever was. I
believe that the time I spend creating is as precious as anything else in
life. I
believe that as creativity gives to me, so does she deserve from me all my
faith mindfulness and commitment. I
believe in my creative self. I
believe in me. --------------------------------- Here’s
also a little poem to ponder: As
it did the year before. To
cast its rays on frozen skies, And
renew the world once more. It
should come as no surprise, Amidst
man in all his strife. This
would be the day we share, To
celebrate the gift of life. 3/16/2008 The Platinum Rule® We
have all heard of the Golden Rule-and many people aspire to live by it.
The Golden Rule is not an answer. Think about it: "Do unto others as
you would have them do unto you." The Golden Rule implies the basic
assumption that other people would like to be treated the way that you
would like to be treated. Platinum
Rule accommodates the feelings of others. The focus of relationships
shifts from "this is what I want, so I'll give everyone the same
thing" to "let me first understand what they want and then I'll
give it to them." There
are four basic personality styles that can and do affect communications
and interpersonal relationships at home, work and at play. Namely, the
Analytic, the Driver, the Amiable and the Expressive. Everyone
possesses the qualities of each style to various degrees and everyone has
a dominant style. For the sake of simplicity, we will focus only on
dominant styles. Analytic ·
Often
appears cold, detached or to lack enthusiasm ·
Lives
according the facts, principles and logic ·
Slow
to react, cautious ·
Makes
decisions based on facts – needs to know all the facts ·
Avoids
risk-taking ·
Focuses
on past for future direction ·
Wants
to be right the first time ·
Tends
to reject involvement ·
Appears
to know what they want and where they are going ·
Competitive ·
Quick
to react ·
Makes
decisions based on facts and data ·
Willing
to take risks ·
Focus
on present ·
Seeks
power and control ·
Tends
to reject inaction ·
Appears
to place priority on relationships ·
Makes
maximum effort to relate ·
Unhurried
reaction ·
Decision-making
based on personal opinion ·
Tries
to minimize risk ·
Focus
on present and how actions will affect others ·
Power
over others is unimportant, being accepted by others is. ·
Tends
to avoid / reject conflict ·
Appears
communicative, warm, animated ·
Appears
more imaginative and creative than other styles ·
Competitive ·
Rapid
reaction, impulsive ·
Decision-making
based on personal opinion ·
Will
take risks ·
Motivated
by social recognition ·
Tends
to reject isolation To
establish effective communications with different personality types, it is
essential first to identify the personality style and understand how they
tend to function best. To
help communicate with: The
Analytical Personality With
Analyticals, in general, be thorough, well-prepared, detail-oriented,
business-like, and patient. ·
Show
your support for an Analytic’s principles and thoughtful approach ·
Provide
specifics and details – include pro’s and con’s of any suggestion ·
Take
time - be persistent. You can’t rush an Analytic ·
Just
because you agree on objectives, don’t expect quick implementation –
use a documented step-by-step schedule ·
Don’t
surprise an Analytic ·
Reward
the Analytic by praising the quality of their planning and strategies With
Drivers, in general, be efficient and competent. ·
Use
“What” questions – don’t dwell on “How,” “Who,” Why” or
“When” ·
Don’t
waste time trying to build a personal relationship – keep the
relationship businesslike ·
Don’t
involve a Driver Personality in details ·
Don’t
try to change a Driver’s mind with a direct approach. Instead, try to
find the Driver’s objectives and find ways to support same. ·
If
you disagree with a Driver’s objectives, then take issue with the facts,
not the person. Don’t pursue philosophies. Tell him/here why you don’t
agree and “what” actions you see as alternatives. ·
Reward
a Driver with solid material gain and a job done on time The
Amiable Personality With
Amiables, in general, be interested in them. ·
Show
personal interest in Amiable as soon as possible ·
Establish
a cooperative effort ·
Be
patient – you may have to draw out their personal opinions ·
If
you disagree, encourage discussion about personal opinions and feelings ·
Indicate
and define the specifics of what each person is to do to reach agreed-upon
objectives ·
Reward
and Amiable with warm personal thanks and praise. The
Expressive Personality With
Expressives, in general, be non threatening and sincere ·
Plan
actions that support their dreams and intuition ·
Ask
their opinions and ideas about people and future objectives ·
Spend
time exploring mutually stimulating ideas and possibilities ·
If
you disagree, avoid arguing - the Expressive has a strong need to win all
arguments ·
Summarize
and document what has been agreed upon because the Expressive won’t ·
An
Expressive will show little interest in how objectives are to be met ·
Reward
quickly with personal recognition. The
Platinum Rule provides powerful life-skills that will serve you well in
all your relationships: business, friends, family, spouse, and children.
Improved relationships create infinite possibilities. Sometimes I think of
John Lennon's song, "Imagine." One of the verses could be,
"Imagine there's no conflict, and it’s easy if you try." The Platinum Rule® is a registered trademark of Dr. Tony Alessandra 3/9/2008 The Story of the Pencil by Paulo Cuelho A
pencil has 5 qualities which, if you manage to hang on with them, will
make you a person who is always at peace with the world. First
quality: Second
quality: 3/2/2008 I Wish You Enough... Recently, a writer overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced her departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and he said, "I love you. I wish you enough." She in turn said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy." They kissed and she left. He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there, I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say goodbye to someone knowing it would be forever?" "Yes, I have," I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man was experiencing. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever goodbye?" I asked. "I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, the next trip back would be for my funeral," he said. "When you were saying goodbye I heard you say, "I wish you enough." May I ask what that means?" He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused for a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more. "When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them," he continued. Then, turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory. I
wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I
wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. Our
friends and loved ones, we wish you ENOUGH! 2/24/2008 7 Principals of Leonardo da Vinci There is a saying by Niccolo Machiavelli: "...a prudent man must always tread the path of great men and emulate those who have excelled, so that even if his ability does not match theirs, at least he will achieve some semblance of it." Words
have not been spoken nor rang with such truth. da Vinci who many know as a
brilliant artist is revered not only as a great artist but also his vast
background which includes: botanist, inventor, city planner,
mathematician, architect, musician, engineer, physicist, costume/stage
designer, geographer, geologist, and noted philosopher. His philosophical
genius was revered by Sigmund Freud, who said, “We respect him by
learning from him". Curiosita
“The
desire to know is natural to good men” 2/17/2008 Mindfulness
and Laughter: Gaining Clarity While Giggling Life
is funny. Throughout
the day, there are plenty of humorous moments that we tend to ignore. We
get so caught up in being earnest that we miss opportunities to gain
clarity while giggling. Sure,
there are times when it is considered inappropriate to laugh, but if we're
honest, we'll see that if we're suppressing a smile it's a sign that we're
fully present. Not
only that, but these are times when we could most use a little laughter to
bring levity to an overly-serious situation. The best business
meetings--and funerals--I've ever attended included plenty of bust-a-gut
moments. Years
ago, during a two-week silent meditation retreat, I got the giggles. Oh, I
know, you're supposed to be *serious* about meditating for five hours
straight, but I couldn't help it. It
all started when I was roused from my peaceful posture by a certain "KLUNK!"
from across the room. I opened my eyes to see that one of my retreat
buddies had fallen asleep and landed with his head against the wall.
Momentarily unnerved, he quickly straightened up, closed his eyes and put
on his best meditator's face. I,
on the other hand, completely lost it. I
managed to stifle the first few giggles, but then they started escaping in
little bursts. I tried the ol' coughing technique, hoping to disguise my
snorts as expectoration, but I wasn't fooling anyone. Pretty
soon, I saw (well, I did have my eyes open) others looking my way. Nobody
else was laughing. In fact, nobody else was even smiling. Clearly, I was
the only one who had allowed myself to get caught up in that unexpected
moment of hilarity. I
was chagrined, and then annoyed, and continued to watch my response to
this incident shift over the next few minutes. Had
it been funny? Of course. Were we supposed to be concentrating fully on
the moment? Absolutely. Anything else would be attachment to past regrets
or worries about the future. Okay,
so we were focusing on watching our thoughts, and this little interruption
was not part of what was going on in our heads. But isn't ignoring what's
happening around us the same kind of thing that gets us into trouble back
in the Real World? We
go about our lives, obsessing silently, moving mindlessly, getting things
done. We fail to notice the wonder and joy and beauty all around us
because we are in full scowl mode about the things in our heads. Well,
I'm all for taking time to laugh. Give me a giggling guru over a dour
taskmaster every time. The greatest guides--in business, education, and
personal success--are those who encourage us to invite hilarity into our
lives whenever it happens to appear. Open
your eyes to the silliness around you, and laugh out loud. It's good for
your heart in every way. 2/10/2008Improve Negative Relationships by Changing a Few of the Words You UseBy Harriet Meyerson How often do you think about the meanings of the words that you use every day? Like most people, do you just utter the words that seem to flow naturally from your mouth? Some of the words that you commonly use may actually have a negative influence on people. This can create a negative relationship with the very people with whom you would like to have a good relationship. Here are some places where you might run into trouble by inadvertently using negative words: leaving a message on an answering machine, talking with a colleague at work, chatting with a neighbor, meeting with your children’s teachers, and relating with your family and friends. Here’s how you can eliminate six commonly used negative words and replace them with positive words. PROBLEMS
become SITUATIONS A negative statement would be, “I have a problem at work.” Contrast this with the more positive, “I have a difficult situation at work.” A problem seems as though it is stuck to you and will always be there. It weighs heavy on your shoulders. A situation, on the other hand, seems temporary and solvable. It has a much lighter feel to it, and it won’t cause as much anxiety. ALWAYS
and NEVER become OFTEN and SELDOM A negative statement would be, “You never take me anywhere. We always stay home and watch TV.” Contrast this with the more positive, “ Since we seldom go out in the evenings, and we’re often so tired we just watch TV, I get frustrated. I would love to have a special evening out with you. Can we plan one together?” Always and never are negative words because they are rarely true and exaggerate a situation. Since they are usually used to criticize, people feel attacked and become defensive. The worst part is that others may focus on your exaggeration and entirely ignore your message. In the second statement, however, you are explaining your own feelings and desires, so there is no need for your partner to get defensive, and you are more likely to get your wish - an enjoyable evening out. SHOULD
HAVE becomes COULD HAVE A negative statement would be, “You should have worked on that management report instead of filing papers.” Contrast this with the more positive, “You could have worked on that management report instead of filing papers.” Using the words, should have, creates guilt and shame for something that has already been done and cannot be changed, whereas the words, could have, don’t condemn anyone. They let someone know he or she had a choice, and this experience then becomes a lesson for making better choices in the future. BAD
becomes UNWISE A negative statement would be, “You were really bad for missing work when we had a deadline to meet.” Contrast this with the more positive “Missing work when we had a deadline to meet was not a wise decision. The rest of us had to work overtime. Would you please find a way to make it up to us.” Using the word, bad, is a judgment of a person’s character, and causes resentment. On the other hand, using the word, unwise, refers to the natural consequences of the person’s actions, and doesn’t judge a person’s basic character. FAULTS
become DIFFERENCES A negative statement would be, “One of his faults that drives me crazy, is that his desk is always a mess.” Contrast this with the more positive, “One of the differences between us is that he keeps his desk messy, while I get frustrated unless everything is put in its place.” In using the word, faults, you are judging someone’s actions as right or wrong. Using the word, differences, removes the critical tone, because you are pointing out how you are different, not that one person is right or wrong. MISTAKES
become VALUABLE LESSONS A negative statement would be, “You made a mistake.” Contrast this with the more positive, “There is a valuable lesson in what you did.” The first way makes others feel ashamed of what they did, and will probably inhibit them from trying new things in the future. The second way gives others something positive to do - to learn from their actions, thereby encouraging learning and experimentation. The
bottom line is that words can either be destructive or enriching to your
relationships with other people. So, before you allow the words to simply
flow out of your mouth without considering what they mean, remember this
one very important word - THINK. 2/3/2008 The Hidden Superpowers Of Your Mind" The mind is an infinite wonder. It has the fantastic ability to transmute your desires into their physical counterparts. You can do anything that your mind can conceive, as long as you have the belief and will power to back it up. Take the case of cancer patients who were given placebo pills. These are just plain pills that have no healing capabilities. So how did they get well? The power came from their thoughts. They were told that these pills contain the highest amounts of cancer-fighting ingredients which can effectively cure them in a matter of days. See how powerful your mind is? They believed that their health will be restored. They have registered in their minds that these pills will cure them of their illnesses. In the process, the belief embedded within their subconscious came to reality. So how can you use your mind to achieve your dreams? One of the most effective ways is to use the "as if" principle. Act as if you are the person you want to be. Act as if you are already in possession of whatever you long to have. So what do you want to be? You want to be a lawyer, doctor, athlete, or newscaster? Think, act, and feel like one. You'll be much closer to your goal if you're constantly intact with your objective. Be obsessed with your dream. It doesn't mean that if you want to be Superman you'll fly out the window. Not a good idea! It's not enough that you act like one, but you have to actually ACT. Do what needs to be done. You might get so lost in your fantasy dream world that you've forgotten to take some action. Let your visions encourage and motivate you to actualize your purpose. The problem with the people of the modern world is that they are too preoccupied with worries, anxieties, and negative emotions. As a result, they are adversely affecting their state of health. White lies have become prevalent nowadays in order to ease the burdens or to persuade others to do things that they thought are unattainable. There was once a weightlifter who couldn't lift weights in excess of 300 lbs. So his coach devised a clever idea and told him that the barbell he has to carry weighs only 300 lbs. With all his might, the weightlifter managed to put it above his head. After he puts it down, the coach told him that he has just lifted 350 lbs. of weight! It's all in the mind! A famous person once said, "Whenever you think you can or you can't, you're right." If
you think you are poor, then you are; unless you properly condition your
thoughts to the positive mindset. I know it's There
is absolutely no limit with what the mind can achieve. But you have
to combine belief, will power, and action with positive thinking in order
to arrive at your intended destination. 1/27/2008 Making
Choices Joseph
Henry, an American scientist and the
first Secretary of the Smithsonian Institution used
to tell a rather strange story about his childhood. His grandmother paid a
cobbler to make him a pair of shoes. The
cobbler allowed him to take a couple of days to make up his mind. Day
after day, Joseph went into the shop, sometimes three or four times a day!
Each time he looked over the cobbler's shoes and tried to decide. The
round-toed shoes were more practical, but the square toes looked more
fashionable. He continued to procrastinate. He wanted to make up his mind,
but he just couldn't decide! Finally,
one day he went into the shop and the cobbler handed him a parcel wrapped
in brown paper. His new shoes! He raced home. He tore off the wrapping and
found a beautiful pair of leather shoes -- one with a rounded toe and the
other with a square toe! Joseph
learned a difficult lesson about decisions: if we don't make them
ourselves, others will make them for us. And wholeness in life can only
come about when we take full responsibility for the choices we make. 1/13/2008 Quote(s) of the Day "Deep down you know you can be remarkable. You shouldn't settle for anything less than your best self, reaching ever closer to your potential--whether as a leader or in any other part of your life." Kevin
Eikenberry "The
easiest thing in the world to be is you. The most difficult thing to be is
what other people want you to be. Don't let them put you in that
position." Leo
Buscaglia "A
successful individual typically sets his next goal somewhat but not too
much above his last achievement. In this way he steadily raises his level
of aspiration." Kurt
Lewin "I
tell you, deep inside you is a fountain of bliss, a fountain of joy. Deep
inside your center core is truth, light, love, there is no guilt there,
there is no fear there. Psychologists have never looked deep enough."
Sri
Sri "If
you start to think the problem is 'out there,' stop yourself. That thought
is the problem." Stephen
Covey |
