12/21/2008

Getting Unstuck
By Natasha Rosewood

According to some between January 29 and February 12 is the worst time of the year. “Don’t start anything new during this ending period,” they advise. “It won’t last.” February, however, can be a great time to meditate on new beginnings. But what if you have no direction? What if you are STUCK?

You are probably in good company. Psychic or not, sometimes my own future is indefinable. I just don’t know. Or that’s what I tell myself anyway. Some hidden fear may be lurking in my unconscious mind and creating a smokescreen.

Metaphorically, energy or “chi” is like a flowing river. When we feel stuck, the flow of that river is caught in an eddy. Our chi is going around and around in circles and being sucked down into a bottomless vortex.

Remember, though, this is only your mind telling you that you are stuck. Energy by its very definition means motion and, therefore, cannot stay still. “Stuckness” is just an illusion and sometimes, merely a judgment of where you have not yet arrived. Your ego mind, your conscious waking-state chatters at you, berating you constantly with “I should be doing. . . ” or “what’s wrong with me?” or “I don’t know…” et al.

But stuckness does not have to be suffered. It can be celebrated.

The good news is that feeling stuck is part of the human process and, believe it or not, serves a purpose. Stuckness is about standing still for a while and allowing us to take stock. In our Western culture and our headlong rush towards success and then death, (not always in that order) we do not allow ourselves permission to not know our destination. And if you resist your stuckness, it will only expand.

So just for today, give yourself permission to see your situation differently. Sit down, put your feet up, take a load off and read the following ten tips to honoring stuckness.

Accept what is now. Everything is in perfect divine right order. Therefore, you are not stuck, just resting.

Let your life unfold naturally. If you are unable to make a decision, it means you do not have all the information yet. Wait and trust. Ask for help. Consult your psychic, coach, counselor, spirit guides or angels. Be open to a different perspective.

Throw an “idea party.” Brainstorm, exchange ideas, give and receive support.

Invite someone you admire to be your mentor. (Most people love to give advice!)

Recognize that you are not stuck, merely regrouping and preparing for a new life. Be thankful for the pause and know that what is yours will come to you.

Decide to see your life as a movie and write your dreams into your script. Be honest with yourself. What do you really, really want? Pursue the most exciting and/or scary options.

Feel the fear and, even if you are you terrified of success or happiness, do it anyway. That’s the time when you will feel really ALIVE!

Take one action every day towards that bigger picture. No matter how small the deed, you are still moving forward.

And you are no longer stuck.

12/14/2008

How to Conquer Fear

When it comes to personal development, dealing with FEAR is one of the most daunting tasks we take on.

This following article has two purposes: 1) to examine three excellent (and simple) realizations regarding the nature of fear; 2) to provide four activities to start conquering it.

REALIZATION ONE: Some fears are healthy, while others are unhealthy

When we are afraid of something that cannot actually harm us – like a spider - or something we can do nothing to avoid - such as old age - then our fear is unhealthy, for it serves only to make us unhappy and paralyze us. On the other hand, when someone gives up smoking because they are afraid of developing lung cancer, this is a healthy fear because the danger is real and there are constructive steps they can take to avoid it.

REALIZATION TWO: Healthy fears can be a very GOOD Thing

We need the healthy fear that arises from taking stock of our present situation so that we can resolve to do something about it. For example, there is no point in a smoker being scared of dying of lung cancer unless there is something that he or she can do to prevent it, i.e. stop smoking. If a smoker has a sufficient fear of dying of lung cancer, he or she will take steps to kick the habit. Healthy fears are the substance by which personal growth is made.

REALIZATION THREE: The Key is letting go of unhealthy fears

The critical element for dealing with fear boils down to LETTING GO of the unhealthy types; the ones where you begin to see there is NO action you can take to resolve a circumstance. Once you learn to really let go of unhealthy fears, your attention is able to focus 100% on the healthy versions and construct tangible ways to make your life happier and more fulfilling.

Here are 4 activities you can implement to start separating the healthy fears from the unhealthy ones in your life:

Make a List

Make a detailed list of all the fears in your life. Do not do this in one sitting, but take a few days to write a comprehensive list of everything you are scared. Once you feel the list is complete, separate the contents into two categories: Unhealthy Fears and Healthy Fears. Make a commitment to disregard your unhealthy fears and only focus on the healthy versions for a certain time frame (say, a week). This can be an extremely powerful and enlightening exercise. As an added bonus, make a few goals for improving the situations in your healthy fear column (remember, these are the ones you can do something about)!

Skydive

Putting yourself in a completely helpless situation (being forced to jump from a perfectly good airplane is helpless, I assure you) is a wonderful way to teach yourself to let go of unhealthy fears. Why? Because once you commit to undergoing an activity like sky diving, it becomes clear the outcome is out of your hands. The only thing to do is let it happen, and release the inevitable fears that will surface. Furthermore, landing and telling everyone about it will give you a sense of accomplishment for being able to let go of an unhealthy fear. Of course, skydiving is not for everyone, and can be substituted with any physical activity that pushes the limits of YOUR fear threshold. Just make sure you complete it, no matter what it takes!

Meditate

This recommendation is the pure opposite of the previous one, as meditation is the practice of going within and focusing the mind 100% in one area. Unhealthy fears reside deep within you and meditation is a terrific way to start becoming aware of them. For beginners, meditation itself can stimulate feelings of fear and frustration and learning to deal with them can be very beneficial to your mission of “letting go”.

Visualization

The practice of visualization is an incredibly powerful tool for dealing with fear. When you start visualizing, see yourself accomplishing your most lofty goals. Flex the muscle of your imagination to actually see and feel what it is like to live in your ideal world. Making a habit of visualization conquers fear in a very direct way: the more time you spend thinking positively, the less time you have to be fearful.

Fear is an exceptionally inhibiting force for many people, but it does not have to be! Learn how to a) separate the unhealthy versions from the healthy ones; b) let go of the unhealthy types and c) focus on actions you can take to resolve the healthy fears. This can do wonders for your well being!

12/7/2008

You Have More Choices than You Think

By Ruben Gonzalez

This week we have a great article from our advisor three-time Olympian Ruben Gonzalez. He is on CSF's Advisory Board and such an inspiration to all of our students.

Most people go through life making decisions based on just a fraction of their available options. They hold themselves back because they allow circumstances or other people's opinions limit their perceived choices.

My grandmother grew up in a very small town in Argentina where everyone thought they had only two career options: working at the dairy bottling factory, or working at the farm raising milk cows. Grandma was more adventurous. Rather than stay in her native town, Grandma took a chance, moved to a big city, married a restaurateur, and lived a much more interesting life than the rest of her family and friends who stayed in the dairy town all their life.

My dad was a chemical engineer in a small oil town. In 1968, when economic conditions started to worsen in Argentina, rather than stay there, he took a chance and moved with my mom, my brother, and I to the U.S. Leaving his friends and family in search for more opportunity was a risky and scary move, especially since he didn't speak much English back then, but in the long run it really paid off.

The Jamaican bobsledders did the same thing. When they didn't qualify for the Summer Olympics in track and field, they got creative. Deciding to take up the bobsled was sheer genius. They didn't just take the road less traveled. They paved a new road where there had been no road before. Everyone who makes fun of them has no clue about what it really takes to succeed in life.

I'm amazed when people ask me how someone from hot and humid Houston can compete in the luge. It's really pretty simple. I came to the realization that what city I live in has NOTHING to do with what sport I can compete in. When the first cold front hits Houston , I fly out to the luge tracks. The luge tracks have never come or will never come to me.

Start looking outside your immediate surroundings for ways to realize your dream. Don't limit your options to what's obvious. Get a little creative, take a chance, and do something different.

Chase your dream. Your dream will not land on your lap. You have to go out and get it. When you start getting bold and unconventional, your life will become an adventure and you'll be a lot more successful.

Copyright © 2008 Ruben Gonzalez  

11/23/2008

Life – The Teacher
By Clyde Dennis

You’ve probably heard the phrase "repetition is the mother of learning" well apparently it’s also the mother of teaching. Often it seems, Life – The Teacher uses the tool of repetition to imprint into our brains the lessons it’s needing to impart to us. At least this has been our experience.

It has become clear to me that life gives the same tests over, and over and over again until we demonstrate that we’ve learned the lesson by passing the test. This teacher seems more than happy to show us again and again why it may be a bad idea to take a particular action, or choose one direction over another. The good news here is that it works both ways. Like any good teacher choose properly and life smiles. Choose improperly and life corrects.

Sometimes I wish and think that it would be simpler and easier if the teacher would just make all of my decisions for me and let me know exactly what I’m supposed to do, but of course that’s not the way it works. In this teacher role life is just an administrator, not an advisor or counselor. Life is there to administer and grade the tests.

Once you pass the test however, Life records your grade and moves on to the next lesson. But don’t completely discard the lesson you’ve just learned as over because it’s not. You may not see or have to deal with this particular thing again for quite some time but you can bet at some point down the road you will see it again. The lessons and tests we’ve passed usually return in the form of pop quiz’s. Out of the blue one day an opportunity to display this lesson learned will pop up and you’ll have to conquer it all over again. If you fail or don’t score high enough on this little pop quiz you’ll have to deal with it more and more often until you pass the test again. Like starting over with it. The trick is to score high marks on the lessons because the higher the score the less often life throws it at you. Show a mastery of it, and it is presented as a test with much less frequency.

So the question: What are you tired of having to deal with day in and day out? What lesson do you feel life is beating you up with?

Want to get rid of it? Show life (and yourself) that you get it. Do whatever you need to do to display that you’ve mastered this particular lesson. Life will reciprocate by giving you a break from it. But remember, Life is smart. You can’t trick it. The higher degree to which you display a mastery of the lesson, the less frequently life will re-present it to you.

Anyway, that’s my take. What’s yours?

Live some. Love some. Learn some. Everyday.

11/16/2008

212 Degrees
By Jennifer Gibbs

At 211 degrees, water is pretty darn hot. But at 212, it's boiling, and making steam. Only one degree, but there is quite a difference. While hot water is a nice thing when you are taking a shower, boiling water has a lot more potential. You can use it to cook, or to run a steam engine. I bet you are wondering what my point is. The point is, one degree made that difference. One, just one.

Take a look at your life right now. No matter where you are, or how happy you are with it, there is always room for that extra degree. The one that takes your from hot to steaming!!

Take a look at the results that you are getting out of life. Sit down and really think about it. What ways can you add that extra degree, and "Kick it up a notch" as Emerill would say?

You could:

·    Spend 10 minutes each day focused on one thing - anything you want it to be. In fifteen years, you'll be a bona fide expert!

·    Spend the last hour before bed planning the next day. You'll wake up with confidence and a game plan, important ingredients for a great day!

·    Read one book each month that is aimed towards improving some skill or talent.

·    Spend one hour each week studying up on your career field or industry.

·    Enroll in a free online or live course. These can be found using Google, at local schools, libraries, etc. Not only will you improve yourself, you'll also be able to meet other likeminded people to share your passion with!!

There are so many little things that you can do to improve your skills, and therefore improve your self. There are many things in life that we waste time on, professional and personal development are NOT some of them. Take some time to nurture your talents and your techniques.

Before you know it, you'll be boiling!!!

11/9/2008

Why Not Lead With Emotions?
By Vera Haitayan

Studies have shown that companies that have acquired competencies to lead with emotional excellence are far more productive and efficient because of the impact emotional excellence has on employee morale, loyalty, retention and overall performance of the organization to name a few.

Since the early 1990's and especially after the internationally renowned author Daniel Goleman's book "Working with Emotional Intelligence" hit the bestseller's list, the business world began to pay close attention to this competency and began to incorporate it in their employee training programs.

In his book, Daniel introduces emotional intelligence as the new issue for employers. He expresses emotional intelligence in terms of maturity and flexibility thus the increased demand for those who have qualifications and know how to handle people.

...So What is Emotional Excellence?

Emotional Excellence is not for women. It is not about "mushy" stuff and certainly not about “touchy"/"feely" feelings. Emotional Excellence is true intelligence and the new yardstick employers are judged by.

• Emotional Excellence is one's ability to manage his or her emotions and those of others and in turn use them to turn difficult situations into more rewarding ones.

• Emotional Excellence is the state of mind in which you respond to events from your vision and purpose in life rather than reacting to circumstances, events and other people.

Whether we’re supposed to or not, we bring our emotions with us to work. We simply fail to “check them” at the door. So the key to create the climate where employees thrive and work their hardest is to recognize and manage those emotions and not ignore them.

The #1 competency to understanding Emotional Excellence is Awareness. Awareness is the state of mind in which you are conscious, awake and paying attention. I call this the state in which your mind and body are in gear allowing you to respond rather than react.

While being aware might help you recognize those emotions, if used alone, it will not help you manage them successfully. Understanding triggering events (key moments) and choosing to respond to those events positively is your pathway to master emotional excellence.

11/2/2008

Birds of a Feather

by Ruben Gonzalez

Who you surround yourself with will determine how far you go.

After I decided to take up the sport of luge and train for the 1988 Calgary Winter Olympics, decision making became pretty simple for me. I knew that every action I took in the next four years was either going to get me closer to my goal or pull me away from my goal. Everything I did would make a difference. Even the people I associated with...

You see, there are two kinds of people in the world. They are either on your team or they are not in your team. They are either on your dream team or they are not. People will either encourage you or cast doubt. If they doubt you can do it, they could steal your dream away!

Associating with negative people makes us think negatively. Close contact with petty individuals develops petty habits in us. On the other hand, companionship with people with big ideas raises the level of our thinking; close contact with ambitious people helps make us more ambitious.

I came to the realization that if someone laughed at my dream; they were laughing at me. If they did not believe in me, I stopped associating with them. I had to. They had the power to make me doubt myself and ultimately quit.

I was taking up the luge at the age of 21 - way too old! And I was trying to qualify for the Olympics just four years away! I could not leave anything to chance. I did not have time to waste. I needed to know right away who was for me and who was not.

How did I do it? I told everyone I spoke with about my dream. If they laughed at me, rolled their eyes, or in any way showed lack of belief, I stopped associating with them. I could not afford to. They were a dream stealer. However, if they got excited about my dream, I held on to them like they were made out of Gold! I'd just found myself a cheerleader.

By doing this all the time, before long I could have filled a cheering section with my supporters. An unexpected benefit of doing this was that I created a positive pressure that kept me from quitting when the going got tough. You see, no matter how rough a day I was having at the track, it was going to be easier to get back on the sled than to come back home and tell everyone that I had quit.

Birds of a feather flock together. Make sure you're in the right flock. It's your choice.

Who are you spending most of your time with?

Are you spending your time with the people that will lead you to your dream?

Are you associating with people who encourage you and push you to take greater risks?

Or are you hanging around with people who are keeping you where you are? Ninety percent of success is who you hang around with...

Copyright © 2008 Ruben Gonzalez  

10/27/2008

Strive for Balance in Your Life

In a university commencement address several years ago, Brian Dyson, CEO of Coca Cola Enterprises, spoke of the relation of work to one's other commitments.

"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air.  You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit and you're keeping all of these in the air.

You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball.  If you drop it, it will bounce back.

But the other four balls - family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass.  If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered.  They will never be the same.  You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.  How?

Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.  It is because we are different that each of us is special.  Don't set your goals by what other people deem important.  Only you know what is best for you.

Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart.  Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or the future.  By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.

Don't give up when you still have something to give.  Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect?  It is this fragile thread that binds us to each together.

Don't be afraid to encounter risks.  It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find.  The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where you are going.

Don't forget that a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.

Don't be afraid to learn.  Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.

Don't use time or words carelessly.  Neither can be retrieved.  Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery and Today is a gift that's why we call it - "The Present."

10/19/2008

Success, The Cartoon Character Way ?
By Rasheed Ali

If you could choose a cartoon character from your childhood days of watching them on TV or reading them, who would you want to be?

I know it sounds silly but here's why...

When I was a young boy, I loved to watch Looney Tunes, He-Man, Thundercats, Garfield, HeathCliff, GI Joe, yes and even the Smurfs! Okay, okay and even the Care Bears.

I would always imagine that I was either "unstoppable" like Bugs Bunny or a BIG, Strong, Hero like He-Man.

You remember imagining you were "someone" like that don't you?

Well, when adults would ask me what I wanted to be when I grow up, I would say, "I wanna' be a Doctor!"

Of course I was lying because I just wanted them to feel good so I told them what they wanted to hear.

After that I would go back to imagining I was Bugs or He-Man or who ever my hero was at that time again. I would get so wound up in the He-Man character that I would literally take my Grandpas machete and pretend it was a sword.

Then I would go around his farm and start swashing at the bushes and tall grass which was kind of helpful. But, sooner or later I found my way to his Papaya trees and start battling them as if they were evil-doers.

Well if you don't know, Papaya trees the trunk is as thick as the diameter of a CD BUT as easy to cut as a watermelon.

By the time I was done, almost all the trees were down and when my Grandpa got back from whatever he was doing, WOW was he angry! Can you blame him!?

Anyway, that freedom to imagine myself as a hero or someone that couldn't be stopped is what would both save my life one day and lead me to coaching individuals and businesses.

Now the only papaya trees I chop down are the obstacles that I teach my clients how to conquer in their lives and businesses.

Everything starts in your imagination. Can you think of a time when your imagination led you to doing something that was extraordinary? What was it? How did it happen?

Visualizing what you want to be or what you want to have, helps you to crystallize the idea and turn it into reality. Having a story behind it helps it to stay with you forever and you WILL create it in your life.

I want you to visualize what you want out of your life. Visualize someone who inspires you.

Then tell yourself the story of the day you read this article, visualized what you wanted and created it in your life.

10/5/2008

What I Have Learned!

The greatest gift from one generation to the next? It's wisdom gained from experience. Here’s what a few of distinguished individuals ages 65 years and older said what they would like others to know.

“Each one of us can make a contribution. Too frequently we think we have to do spectacular things. Yet if we remember that the sea is actually made up of drops of water and each drop counts, each one of us can do our little bit where we are. Those little bits can come together and almost overwhelm the world. Each one of us can be an oasis of peace."  Desmond Tutu

“Take your profession seriously; don't take yourself seriously. You really only matter to a certain degree in the whole circus out there. If you take yourself seriously, you're not going to be able to move forward. You're going to be hampered by always wanting to look in the mirror and see if you have enough tuna oil on your hair or something like that."  Clint Eastwood

“You need to have passion. The greatest thing I've learned in my life is that there is room for everybody. That's the great thing about art and design and communication. There's room for all. You should know about the good things that happened before. Have a little history. Go back and see what was done before.

Learn from the past if you want what matters in the pres­ent. Knowledge is the most important thing.” Lella Vignelli

“Fill your brain with as much infor­mation as you can. Look at everything, know everything, develop a critical mind. History, theory, and criticism are the three fundamental elements to grow in a professional life. History will provide you with the tools for understanding. Theory will be the philosophy of why you're doing it. And criticism will provide you with the ability to continually master what you are doing. Play with these tools and you can do pretty good things." Massimo Vignelli

“Wounds that can't be seen are more painful than those that can be seen and cured by a doctor. I learned that to humiliate another person is to make him suffer an unnecessarily cruel fate.

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear but the triumph over it.

I felt fear myself more times than I can remember, but I hid it behind a mask of boldness. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid but he who conquers fear.

Where people of goodwill get together and transcend their differences for the common good, peaceful and just solutions can be found, even for those problems that seem most intractable." Nelson Mandela

“For most kids now, a chicken is rec­tangular. It's got plastic on top, and it doesn't have eyes or feet. This is scary. You should never eat some­thing you cannot recognize. A simple principle, but important.

Children never lie. I have a grand­daughter, and if she likes something, she says, `Papa, it's good,' or, if she doesn't, `It's no good.' There is no sarcasm. I remember my daughter standing in her crib the first time I gave her caviar. I put it on bread. She ate it and said, “Encore, Papa.”

Cook with love. Sit down around the table and share food with your children and your family. When my daughter was small, she'd get home and say, `Mum, what's for dinner?' My wife would say, `Food.' That's where it stayed. We have been married 43 years now, and I don't remember a time when we did not sit around the table an hour every night. It's not necessarily a pleasant conversation to recap the day, but it's necessary. Other­wise there is no communication." Jacques Pépin

“I get sillier as I get older, so I don't know what wisdom means. I can only pass on something that I've been acquainted with and let whoever it is pick the bones out of it." Judy Dench

9/28/2008

Improve Your Small Talk - Gain Big Dividends!
By Royane Real

Do you hate to make small talk? If so, you have lots of company. You may find small talk irritating, predictable, mind-numbingly boring. Yet, learning to play the small talk game can have lots of good benefits. You will have a much better chance of succeeding in making new friends, and advancing in your career if you can master the major art of making small talk.

Small talk is the name commonly given to the fairly predictable superficial chatter that makes up a large portion of our social encounters. Neighbors chatting over the fence, strangers speaking to each other in a grocery line, or workers talking at an office party will often engage in the exchange of fairly ritual, routine observations, comments and questions. Often there is no intent by either party to take the conversation to a deeper level.

Most of the comments and questions tend to be of a fairly trivial sort. For example, a person might say, "I wonder when this heat wave will ever end," or "That’s a nice dress, where did you get it?" Other typical small talk dialogue might include basic questions like, "What do you do?" Or "How long have you lived in this neighborhood"?

Small talk often has a bad name. Many people dislike small talk, precisely because it is so mundane and trivial and predictable. It rarely touches on anything important. It does not lead you deeply into the soul of another. It is conservative and safe. You do not discuss really serious issues like world hunger, or the meaning of life, or the results of a recent scientific breakthrough.

People who are very intellectual or very shy, and those who are socially rebellious, are often unable or unwilling to engage in this sort of chatter, which they consider meaningless and trite. They long instead to have only intense, meaningful, and soulful exchanges about important matters.

If this is true of you, if you have had nothing but contempt for the very existence of small talk, if you look down with disdain on all who engage in it, it is time to consider revising your opinion. Small talk, however despicable, however clich?, has an important role to play in initiating, developing, and deepening social connections with other human beings.

Think of small talk as the oil that lubricates the wheels of social interaction. If you see a person regularly, you can use small talk as a way to gradually learn more about each other. Small talk gives people a low-key, non-threatening way to exchange very basic bits of information with each other. Through these very tiny, safe, and cliché? exchanges that each person offers the other, you can find out what interests you have in common, and whether or not you like the character of the other person.

A complete inability or refusal to engage in small talk can severely limit the overall number of social relationships you develop. Refusing to engage in some form of small talk will send out the signal that you are not a friendly person, or that you think you are too good to talk with others.

On the other hand, the more often you engage in small talk encounters with others, the more likely it is that you will find people who want to move on to discuss some of the topics that are of more importance to you.

Instead of refusing to play the small talk "game", why not really make a game out of it? Decide to practice small talk strictly for fun and give yourself points for starting it and keeping it going. Think of small talk as a skill you can develop, and practice working to become better at it. Do it everywhere, and do it often.

Becoming good at small talk will eventually pay off and give you even more opportunities to talk about those things that really matter to you. You can actually learn to enjoy the light hearted, low key, small talk process, and you may end up liking many of the other people you meet along the way!

9/7/2008

The Teachers I Will Always Remember...

By Steve Brunkhorst

All of us recall special teachers — people who not only taught us but inspired us in ways that changed our lives. William Arthur Ward once said, "The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires." Here are five life-changing values inspired by unforgettable teachers.

... Taught the Value of Learning and Knowledge

They were enthusiastic about their subject. However, they gave more than knowledge. They showed how learning could enhance creativity, spark interests, and uncover talents. They instilled in students a curiosity to learn and an undying passion to keep learning.

... Taught the Value of Respect

They treated others with honor. They explained how kind words, and sometimes silence, could prevent hurtful confrontations and turn enemies into friends. They taught the value of respect for the community as well as the individual.

... Taught the Value of Integrity

They demonstrated empathy for those who were ill or suffering from personal loss. They would go the extra mile to offer support. Their ethics inspired students to live with courage and approach life with honesty, dignity, and self-worth.

... Taught the Value of Responsibility

They taught that personal actions have consequences and that the individual must be accountable for his or her choices. They emphasized that when people think others are to blame for problems, that very thought is the real problem. They taught that each student was ultimately responsible for his or her learning and its impact on their future.

... Taught the Value of Perseverance

They taught that education continues until our last breath. They told stories about the hard times they had faced, and how God had often turned difficulties into blessings. They refused to let students quit after repeated failures. They demonstrated that "Faith is the assurance of things not yet seen."

Not all of these teachers taught in formal classrooms. Nor did they all have a formal education. Some of them are still teaching, and the education they provide is priceless.

I believe that the greatest gifts we can give our children are the same kind of values these teachers demonstrate. Then our children can also become unforgettable teachers, sharing values that will inspire happiness and faith for future generations.

8/24/2008

Measuring Your Progress

By Ruben Gonzalez

As you set goals and begin working towards them, it is critical that you establish benchmarks you can use to evaluate your progress. The more specific your measures are, the faster you'll reach your goals because you'll reduce wasted time.

Going back to the example of the pilot flying cross country to New York , the more frequently he checked his true heading, the quicker he would arrive to his destination. If the pilot were only allowed to check his heading once every 30 minutes, he might never reach his destination.

Your subconscious mind works best when you set clear goals with deadlines. When you do, and when you are truly committed to reaching your goals, your subconscious mind will act like an autopilot that will steer you towards your goals. It will be like a radar that is tuned in to finding anything that might help you reach your goals.

It is important to identify all of the tasks you need to do to reach your goal. Once you have identified the tasks, you should prioritize them and focus on the most important task first.

You may have to break down each task into smaller sub-tasks - and so on. Each sub-task should have its own deadline. Deadlines create urgency and get you to take action.

For example, imagine you wanted to climb the Seven Peaks , the highest mountains in each of the seven continents, by 2010. You would have to learn all about mountaineering, find guides, determine the best order to climb them, and focus on the first task - climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro .

Climbing Mt. Kili would then be broken down into sub-tasks. Getting into incredible physical shape, financing the expedition, acquiring knowhow, finding guides, purchasing climbing gear, etc.

Each of those sub-tasks might be broken down further. For example, in order to become fit enough to climb, you might have to change your diet, train yourself like a marathoner, lose 30 lbs, etc.

What you do is start with the 2010 deadline, and work backwards to see when all the other steps must be completed by. If you don't set deadlines, by human nature, you never do what you need to do to accomplish the goal.

Once you set deadlines and start taking action, you'll be amazed at how great you feel as you check off completed tasks. Before long you start creating momentum and when momentum is on your side, everything in the process will seem more and more effortless and more fun.

Along the way you keep careful records and measure your progress because what cannot be measured, cannot be managed.

No matter what your goal is, you can focus on smaller tasks that can be measured to gauge your progress.

If you want to improve your health and lose weight, you could focus on how many minutes and at what intensity you exercise each week or on how many calories you consume each day.

If you want to improve your sales, you could focus on how many calls you make each day.

If you'd like a promotion, you could ask your boss for specific tasks you could focus on to make yourself more valuable.

If you want to improve your relationships, you could focus on how many minutes you spend with that special person. Quality time is a myth. Quantity time is where it's at. If you think quality time will improve your relationships, you're fooling yourself.

Start finding ways to measure your goals and tasks and your performance, and you will be more successful in everything you do.

Copyright © 2008 Ruben Gonzalez  

8/17/2008

To Succeed More, Become an Optimist

By Ruben Gonzalez

Have you ever been to an Optimist Club meeting? If you haven't, you're missing out on a great time. I've had the pleasure of speaking for the Optimists a few times and it's always been a blast.

Since then, I've done a little research on optimists and pessimists, and I learned some interesting things...

Optimists are usually the most successful, most influential, happiest and healthiest people in any group. Why? Because it has been proven that you become what you think about most of the time.

Optimists are not born. They are made. Optimists are people who figured out that it didn't pay to be a pessimist. They just made a decision to stop being pessimistic.

What do optimists think about? They think and talk about what they want and how to get it. They think about how to get where they want to go. Just thinking about their dream, goal, mission, or destination makes them happy. Thinking about the dream gives them energy. It motivates them to take action.

What do pessimists think about? They think and talk about what they don't want. They dwell on people they don't like and on problems they are having. The more they think about their problems and their setbacks, the angrier and more negative they become. By focusing on the negative, they attract the things they don't want to happen into their lives.

Both optimism and pessimism are very contagious states of mind. So don't hang around the pessimists, they might just infect you.

Optimists brighten up a room when they enter it. Pessimists brighten up a room when they leave it. Which do you want to be? One way will make you more successful. The other will make you less successful. It's your choice.

Copyright © 2008 Ruben Gonzalez

8/10/2008

Creating Opportunity
By Jim Rohn

An enterprising person is one who comes across a pile of scrap metal and sees the making of a wonderful sculpture. An enterprising person is one who drives through an old decrepit part of town and sees a new housing development. An enterprising person is one who sees opportunity in all areas of life. To Your Success…

To be enterprising is to keep your eyes open and your mind active. It's to be skilled enough, confident enough and creative enough and disciplined enough to seize opportunities that present themselves...regardless of the economy.

A person with an enterprising attitude says, "Find out what you can before action is taken." Do your homework. Do the research. Be prepared. Be resourceful. Do all you can in preparation of what's to come.

Enterprising people always see the future in the present. Enterprising people always find a way to take advantage of a situation, not be burdened by it. And enterprising people aren't lazy. They don't wait for opportunities to come to them, they go after the opportunities. Enterprise means always finding a way to keep yourself actively working toward your ambition.

Enterprise is two things. The first is creativity. You need creativity to see what's out there and to shape it to your advantage. You need creativity to look at the world a little differently. You need creativity to take a different approach, to be different.

What goes hand-in-hand with the creativity of enterprise is the second requirement: the courage to be creative. You need courage to see things differently, courage to go against the crowd, courage to take a different approach, courage to stand alone if you have to, courage to choose activity over inactivity.

And lastly, being enterprising doesn't just relate to the ability to make a living. Being enterprising also means feeling good enough about yourself, having enough self worth to want to seek advantages and opportunities that will make a difference in your future. And by doing so you will increase your confidence, your courage, your creativity and your self-worth - your enterprising nature.

8/3/2008

Dream, Struggle, Victory

By Ruben Gonzalez

Back when I was in grade school, my dad encouraged me to study the lives of successful people. He said, "Success leaves clues. Read biographies and you'll figure out what works in life."

I've been a student of success ever since. I've read countless biographies and I've found them all to be very similar. They are all the story of someone that had a dream, faced a struggle, and finally had a victory. Dream, struggle, victory. Dream, struggle, victory and then someone decided to a book about them.

We all have dreams. What made those people different is they had the guts to take action. The dream was a call to action - an inner longing to strike out on an adventure. They chose to heed the call and take the journey.

Choosing to take the journey takes courage. And staying the course to victory takes courage and perseverance. That's why we admire people who go for it. Because they have the heart of a champion and the adventurous spirit of winners.

Something life-changing happens when you decide to take the journey. If you refuse to quit, you will inevitably find you have hidden resources and abilities within you. You find out what you're made of.

You ALWAYS win by taking the journey. The journey transforms you. Who you become is the true purpose of the journey.

Face your fear. Take the journey. Heed the call. Bite off more than you think you can chew. Do it now! You'll never be the same.

Copyright © 2008 Ruben Gonzalez

7/27/2008

3 Powerful Phrases

Let's face it.

We all want a little credit, even just the tiniest bit of recognition for a new haircut, a fetching sartorial ensemble, or a job well done. But when compliments are lacking, or words of encouragement nonexistent, then positive thinking phrases are the next best thing.

Use positive thinking phrases like the ones below and give yourself a friendly pat on the back.

Positive thinking phrases, or positive affirmations, are like mantras you repeat over and over to yourself. Hopefully, by some mystifying subliminal process, the power of these words will be able to condition you to positively influence your way of thinking and as a result, your way of living.

Here are some examples:

Phrase #1: Hey, Gorgeous! (Hey, Handsome!)

Admit it.

Getting complimented for your looks is a wondrous tonic for the ego. So get out of bed, face the mirror and give your ego a boost. Nothing beats a greeting like that first thing in the morning to get you revved up for the stress of the day ahead.

Don't worry about sounding a bit vain or conceited, as long as you do it in private and out of anyone's earshot. And when you feel good inside, it'll reflect on your outer person, making you even more attractive. It won't be long before others will notice and compliment you as well.

Phrase #2: Yes, I can!

Another variant of this is, "Ain't nothin' to it but to do it," as mentioned in the show, Hey Arnold, on Nickelodeon.

In order to accomplish something, you must first believe in your heart that you are fully capable of success.

You'll find that it's usually the hardest part of any endeavor-mustering enough courage. Without this belief in yourself, you can get easily discouraged and prone to quitting.

Have faith.

Remember, the only thing that can stop you is yourself.

Phrase #3: Here I am, World, do your worst!

It may sound like you're inviting bad luck and catastrophe, but what this really means is that you are welcoming life's challenges with open arms and are willing to bravely take them on.

Like a proud sentinel in a storm, you stand firm against anything flung at you. And no matter how muddied and besieged you emerge from the battle, you emerge nonetheless, ever ready to fight and live another day.

Plus, it's a really cool motto, don't you think?

Try these positive thinking phrases on for size and get yourself in the mood for life.

Keep your day bright!

7/20/2008

Mandela’s 8 Lessons of Leadership

By Richard Stengel

As Mandela celebrates his 90^th birthday, the world’s greatest moral leader reflects on a lifetime of service — and what the rest of us can learn from it. Click the link below to read the whole story. We promise it will be quite a journey!

No. 1 - Courage is not the absence of fear — it's inspiring others to move beyond it

No. 2 - Lead from the front — but don't leave your base behind

No. 3 - Lead from the back — and let others believe they are in front

No. 4 - Know your enemy — and learn about his favorite sport

No. 5 - Keep your friends close — and your rivals even closer

No. 6 - Appearances matter — and remember to smile

No. 7 - Nothing is black or white

No. 8 - Quitting is leading too

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1821467,00.html

7/13/2008

Running with the Bulls in Pamplona

By Rub en Gonzalez

We stood for hours in the plaza trying to stay warm in the chilly Pyrenees Mountain morning. About 3000 of us. People fof all ages from all over the world drawn to Pamplona by the mystique of running with the bulls.

You could feel the tension rise as the time got closer to 8:00 AM, the time when six bulls and several steers would be released to run through the cobblestoned streets of Pamplona . The half mile course is only 15 to 20 feet wide. There is no place to escape and since bulls can run much faster than people, in time, everyone will be overtaken by the bulls.

Video of July 8, 2008 run (my first ever)

The bull run only takes about 3-4 minutes. The most dangerous and exhilarating three minutes of your life.

There are always injuries. So many injuries that there are emergency medical crews and ambulances every 50 yards. Someone will be hurt today. Occasionally someone will lose their life. In 1995 a 22 year old American was gored to death less than 30 seconds after the beginning of the run. His first…

What drives people to risk their lives running with the bulls? Some say you feel most alive when you are nearest death. Others run for the challenge. Personally, I just think it’s fun, exciting, and exhilarating.

Before going to Pamplona I took the same approach I take with everything. I looked for knowledge from the experts. I read three books about Pamplona - several times. I contacted one of the authors - a man who’s been running for 30 years, to pick his brain. Then, I spent many hours watching videos of the bull run to study the paths different runners took as they ran.

At first, the videos just looked to me like a horde of people running for their lives. After watching the videos over and over again, I started to see well defined patterns. All of a sudden, the things I had read about in the books started to make sense. I realized that there is a right way and a wrong way to run with the bulls.

I did my homework and that made all the difference.

What did I learn from all my study? I learned a handful of insights that drastically reduced my risk and turned a potentially deadly adventure into a science. Into a strategic challenge.

July 9, 2008 bull run (my second ever)

Just like in business and in life, you find two types of people in the bull run. There are the amateurs who show up, wing it, and often get hurt. And there are the professionals. The experts who armed with knowledge and skill rarely get hurt.

95% of the people are amateurs. 5% are the pros. The experts. The winners. Just like in business. Just like in life.

What did I learn from my research? I learned simple things that made a huge difference in my Pamplona experience.

First and most importantly, make sure to run sober and watch out for the drunks. There were lots of them out there. The drunks are more dangerous and more unpredictable than the bulls. The drunks trip, fall and cause human pileups that you have to hurdle as you run down the street.

Secondly, if you fall, cover your head and stay down. The bulls will jump over you. If you get up, you become a big target and you could easily get hurt.

Thirdly, tie your sash in a slip knot. Everyone in Pamplona dresses the same way during the Fiesta. White shirt, white pants, red bandana around the neck, and a red sash around the waist. If you tie your sash in a double knot (like 95% of the amateurs did) and a bull’s horn hooks your sash, the bull will drag you along the streets with your head bouncing off the cobblestones the whole way. Not the best way to spend your time in Spain .

Like I said, simple stuff that can make a huge difference.

Finally, where do you run?

The half mile course has five sections. Most deaths have occurred at the beginning and at the end. Most injuries and gorings occur at a sharp right hand curve in the middle of the course. Stay away from those three areas unless you have been running for many years.

The whole time you are running you are deep in a narrow canyon made up of 10 story buildings on either side of the narrow streets. You are in the shade the whole time except right before you enter “Dead Man’s Curve” or “La Curva” as it is known in Pamplona . Right before “La Curva” you are blinded by the early morning sun. The bulls are blinded as well and they slip on the moist cobblestones and slam into the retaining wall at the far side of the curve. Many injuries occur here when the runners get pinned by the falling bulls.

The experts told us to begin the run about 50 yards past “La Curva” on the right side of the street. Why? Because the bulls tend to run on the left side of the street after passing “La Curva.” By starting the run from the right side, you have a chance to gradually approach the bulls as you run down the long straightaway past the curve.

The top runners position themselves in the middle of the street and try to run right in front of the bulls’ horns for as long as they can before they are overtaken. We were happy to run beside the bulls. Close but not too close.

There is a bull run every morning for the 8 days of the Fiesta. I was there three days. I watched the first day and ran the second and the third. I’m still a beginner at this. Like everything else, practice makes perfect. I think it will take at least 2-3 years of running all 8 days to learn the basics. And then a lifetime to master the basics.

So what does all of this have to so with success? Everything! Whenever you are about to try anything new, something that looks too hard and too risky to be worthwhile, do what high achievers everywhere do. Don’t try to figure it out on your own. You don’t know what you don’t know and what you don’t know can hurt you.

Rather, find the experts. Learn from the best. Then give yourself a couple of years to learn the basic skills by taking consistent and persistent action. By doing that, in time you will become the expert others turn to for advice. By pursuing excellence in everything you do you will make your life a masterpiece.

Copyright © 2008 Ruben Gonzalez

7/6/2008

Remember The Moments

We were deeply touched by the wise, spiritually profound, and ironically humorous perspectives on life often shared by George Carlin.  He apparently wrote this message below shortly after his wife had died. Now, George has passed and we are left with only the memories of his beautiful and funny thoughts. If you're so moved I hope you will pass this message on as a way of honoring the insights and legacy of a wise man who brought great laughter to our world.  Thank you for the laughter, love and joy you brought into our life George.

A Message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but

Less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

6/29/2008

The Importance of Integrity

By Joe Love

The single most important quality you can ever develop that will enhance every part of your life, is the value of integrity. Integrity is the core quality of a successful and happy life. Having integrity means being totally honest and truthful in every part of your life. By making the commitment to become a totally honest person, you will be doing more to ensure your success and happiness in life than anything else you can ever do.

Integrity is a value, like persistence, courage, and intelligence. It is your choice of values and resolution to live by those values that form your character and personality. And it is integrity that enhances all your other values. The quality of person you are is determined by how well you live up to the values that are most important to you. Integrity is the quality that locks in your values and causes you to live consistent with them.

Integrity is the foundation of character. A person who has integrity also has an unblemished character in every area of his or her life. One of the most important activities you can engage in, is developing your character. And one of the best ways to develop your character is by consistently doing the same things that a thoroughly honest person would do in every area of his or her life.

To be totally honest with others, you first have to be totally honest with yourself. You have to be true to yourself. You have to be true to the very best that is in you. Only a person who is consistently living a life with the highest values and virtues is a person truly living a life of integrity. If you are always honest and true to yourself you cannot be false to anyone else.

The mark of people who have high integrity is, they always do the highest quality of work in everything they do. They are the people who are always totally honest with themselves in everything they do, and strive to excellent work on every occasion. People with high integrity realize that everything they do is a statement about who they are as a person.

The Universal Law of Attraction says that you inevitably attract into your life the people and circumstances that are in harmony with your dominant thoughts and values. This means that everything in your life you have attracted, because of the person you are. If there is anything in your life, your relationships, or your work that you are not happy with, you need to begin changing the person you are, so that you stop attracting those people and situations into your life.

Your integrity is manifested in your willingness to adhere to the values that are most important to your. It's easy to make promises but often very hard to keep them. But every time you keep a promise that you've made, it is an act of integrity, which in turn strengthens your character. As you act with integrity in everything you do, you will find that every part of your life will improve. You will begin to attract the best people and situations into your life. You will become an outstanding person as well as a success in everything you do.

6/22/2008

Leadership: Wisdom of the Ages
By Susan Cullen

If you gather 100 experienced leaders together to share with you their most important secrets for success, you probably wouldn’t hear a lot of academic theory or jargon. Instead, this is more than likely, what you’d hear:

1) Put ethics first. If you make unethical decisions for short-term gain, you will lose in the end. Let your principles guide you in the many decisions you must make regarding business practices and people. You will regret it if you don’t.

2) Surround yourself with the best people you can find. If you are able to attract the brightest, most dedicated, most talented people, they will move your organization forward. Leverage their skills, ideas and creativity… your people are your greatest asset.

3) Show your staff you value them personally. Research shows the personal relationship with a direct manager is the key for retaining your best and your brightest. Don’t ever withhold your praise. Tell them why you value them and recognize their contributions.

4) Be trustworthy. Be fair in your dealings with others. Don’t show favoritism. Remember you must always walk your talk. Your actions speak louder than your words. Don’t ask others to do what you can’t or won’t do. You can’t lead if others don’t trust you.

5) Develop Win-Win-Win Solutions. Your company will only grow if you can provide valuable services that help your clients succeed. In the meantime, you must help your staff achieve their goals, and the organization must grow. A win-win-win approach means you create solutions and services that support the best interests of your client, your staff and your company. If one of these elements is missing, your business won’t grow. Don’t try to shortchange one element to the benefit of the other.

6/15/2008

Walking the Talk

by Ruben Gonzalez

Leaders in every field agree that there is a shortage of people who get things done. People who get results. That is great news. It's an opportunity for all of us. What that means is that if you want to move up in your field, all you have to do is to start getting results.

So how do you do that?

By becoming a person of action. Massive action!

Having good ideas is not enough. Even having great ideas is not enough. Ideas are a dime a dozen. However, people that implement ideas are priceless.

Everything that exists in this world is the product of an idea that was acted upon. Even the chair you're sitting in!

Successful people are active. They get it done. They don't waste any time. They have an urgency about them.

Passive people are not successful. Passive people procrastinate. Put things off. They wait for everything to be perfect before acting.

Well, I've got news for you. Conditions have never been or never will be perfect. What if Eisenhower had waited until conditions were perfect to invade Normandy? What if Kennedy had waited until conditions were perfect before deciding to put a man on the moon? What if Columbus had waited for conditions were perfect before setting out on his voyage?

When you are about to take a family vacation you probably don't wait until all the lights are green. You get started, and you handle the red lights as you come across them. Use that approach with everything else.

Do something. Get started. Move! Get some momentum going. If you don't, you'll regret it and you will be filled with stress. Stress comes from not doing what you know you should be doing.

Once you get started, once you are in motion, your mind starts focusing on how to get the job done. As soon as you get in motion you move ahead of the competition - all those poor souls that are still "thinking about it."

Action produces confidence. Inaction strengthens fear. Just think about when you were a kid on the high dive in your neighborhood pool. The longer you waited to dive, the worse the fear got. But once you decided to dive, the fear was gone and you spent the rest of the afternoon diving. Taking action made it fun. Exhilarating.

You know what you need to do. Do it now. Get going. Get started. You'll be glad you did.

If you won't do it now, do us all a favor and STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!

Copyright © 2008 Ruben Gonzalez

6/8/2008

Be a Story Teller, Not Just a Speaker

Speakers are ordinarily people, from teachers to grandparents, from mountain climbers to cancer survivors. The platform provides them with a privilege and awesome responsibility to share their stories in a way that helps the audience to “wake up.” Good stories make people say, “Wait a minute. I can think or act differently about everything than I did before.” Stories are everywhere. Speakers learn to retrieve them and retell them to audiences as a way to show their humanness to show they care; to open people to possibility thinking and how making mistakes will lead to the courage to finally help them succeed. Because most of us define our thoughts visually, great stories help to enhance and even transform our lives.

Be unique. Think funny thoughts. Live and re-live your story when you are telling a story. Words are critical so be sure to pause when necessary and be in the now. Your words need to create an image in the audience’s mind so that they can remember your story. They may be a step away from their own story. This will strengthen the connection between you and them.

What is your story?

6/1/2008

Hold That Elevator!
By Clyde Dennis

As Prince, or whatever his name is now put it in one of his songs, "When Life’s elevator tries to bring you down go crazy, punch a higher floor!"

Well..., This way to the next level!

For the past couple of weeks I’ve experienced one of those periods I both love and hate at the same time. Hate’em because they’re painful. Love’em because they’re great measuring sticks and opportunities to see how far I’ve come and get a real indication of how far I still have to go. These are great opportunities for gaining even more clarity as well.

Just because I have the choice and can, let’s focus on the measuring stick side of this equation.

See, I’ve come to the conclusion that Life is about levels. From the time we’re born to the time we’re planted we should be about growing and learning and teaching. Continually moving onward and upward from level to level in our development. This is one of those things we need to keep a constant vigil on. If we’re not careful one day you’ll wake up and realize you’re still where you were three, four, five years ago. Same level of thinking. Same level of Life. Not good.

Stop this week. Consider what level you’re on. How long have you been there? How long do you plan on staying? What’s it going to take to get yourself to the next level? Some questions to ponder.

Life is a great teacher. If we’ll open our eyes and get the lessons, Life’ll take us right through the levels. Sometimes Life gets tired of the subtle approach though. Nothing like a good swift kick in the stomach from Life to get your attention and make you realize you’re not performing at the level you could and should be. Life determines that you’re not getting the lessons. Oh you think you’re maxed out and doing all that you possibly can. You think you’re being the best that you can be, then Whamo! Life gets your attention and provides you a clear, undeniable picture. Life says to you "...son, you can be better!"

Got it! And so I shall kids. And so I shall.

Thanks Life.

On the way out I want to switch things up a bit. Growing past the familiar "Life it Up!" epitaph to something a little more forward looking and thinking. Life has spoken, and says I can be better. And so... being the student of Life that I am I enthusiastically and filled with excitement say to you and Life...

Live some. Love some. Learn some. Everyday.  

5/25/2008

Success: By The Numbers
By Tony Marino, Ph.D.

What is "success"? Why does it seem everyone wants "success"? What does "success" mean to you? Do you need "success"? Do you deserve "success"?

That's this week's focus!

Success. Where does it begin and what is it really?

According to Roget's International Thesaurus...

Success is...

●     Accomplishment

●     Prosperity

●     Superiority

●     Victory

When one examines the term "success" in this fashion, one can begin to see that "success" can be a fairly tall order. I mean success in most cases (our lives of simple normality), we were not simply born of it. Success must be achieved. Accomplishment must be attained. Prosperity must be built. Superiority must be earned. Victory must be won.

I am regularly blown away when I witness so many well-intentioned people try their hand at landing success right here on the NET; only to stumble and bumble through the massive quantities of gibberish found upon the browsers of millions of desktops and notebooks across the globe.

As I answer my hundreds of emails every week, I preach the same message time and again.

My sermon goes something like this...

Unless you have boat-loads of money to burn, you must build your structure one brick at a time. Time is the key.

Today's marketer consists of two separate categories...

Category #1

If you possess pockets deeper than the Grand Canyon itself,

Then...

You can easily and quite swiftly generate instant awareness about your product or service.  

Category #2  

If you are like most people and fit snugly into the upper 90% that must work to make a living,  

Then...  

You must first begin to practice the following disciplines to make the most of your initial e-business efforts:  

1. Learn About Yourself...  

What makes you tick? What turns you on? What turns you off? And, most importantly, what are you most passionate about?  

2. Rely On Patience...  

Remind yourself again and again that your new e-business adventure will take a certain amount of time to build. Anything worthy of wearing the ribbon of success did not just happened overnight.  

3. Take "Baby Steps"...  

Don't let the mystical world of "Smoke and Mirrors" send you into instant hyperventilation. Savor your e-business delicacy one bite at a time. Don't race from here to there with arrival of every new email opportunity. Work one e-business venture at a time.  

4. Align Yourself With Successful People...  

Remember, "Success breeds success"! If the person or company you are currently following is racing Mach 10 with their hair on fire exuding that "Deer-in-the-headlights" look, run quickly and furiously in any other direction than the one in which they are going. Hang with those that have proven their success and are more than willing to take you under their wing.  

5. Have A Clue...  

If you fail to plan than you plan to fail. Whether on a napkin or square sheet of toilet paper, write down your game plan. Always assume that if you do not write it down, you will forget. How can you sell your product or service if you yourself don't know what you're talking about. View your memoirs as a form of a contract to yourself.

5/18/2008

Time: Do You Spend it or Invest it?
By Paula Gregorowicz

Time is our greatest and most precious asset. Time is the great equalizer of all us human beings. Why then do we not recognize and treat it with the respect it deserves?

Whether you are rich, poor, healthy, ill, or just humming along in your life somewhere in between, we all have only 24 hours in each and every day to invest wisely. We often spend a great deal of time and energy thinking and worrying about, or working to earn and pursuing more money. However, while we are doing that, sometimes we are missing the greatest gift of all – our time to experience our lives. A wise teacher once said to me, “You can always get more money but you can never buy more time.” Good point!

How often do we consciously think about how we invest our time? I consciously use the word invest because the way we choose to spend out time is truly an investment in ourselves and our lives.

Based on my observations over the last several decades on this planet, however, you would never guess the true value of this time commodity by the way people act and speak.

First, let’s look at the common ways people dishonor time with their actions. Do any of these choices look familiar?

•   Spending hours in front of the TV.

•   Sacrificing a healthy amount of regular sleep in an attempt to steal more time. (You may be awake for more hours,

     however being in a fog and loaded up on caffeine does not translate into quality or “more time”.)

•   Working ineffectively and/or spending so much time at a job that you have in effect handed over your life to someone else.

•   Existing in a state of stressed out or burned out.

•   Spending hours aimlessly surfing the internet.

•   Participating in gossip or the rumor mill.

Now, let’s take a look at the language we use when we discuss our precious friend, time. Do any of these comments look familiar?

•   I wish it were Friday already! (usually spoken from a Monday through Thursday point of view)

•   I’m just wasting time; or, this is a waste of time.

•   I have some time to kill…

•   I’ll get to enjoy my time when I retire.

•   I’m just counting the hours until the end of the day, or the days until the weekend, retirement, etc.

So, how often do you wish away your life? How often do you let time simply pass you buy?

While it may sound cliché, the phrase Carpe Diem has a great deal of merit. It means, seize the day. I can still remember my first real experience with this term when Robin Williams challenged his young students in the movie Dead Poet’s Society to do just that – seize the day. He used it as a call to arms where every student in his class should make each day a day that was truly explored and lived fully.

Where Does My Time Go?

A Challenge for You:

Do you know where all your time goes each day? What parts of your life are most important to you? Are those the parts of your life that receive the greatest amount of your time and attention? Or, do you find yourself doing the same things today that you did yesterday simply because that is what you did the day before that?

For the next month, take stock of where your time and your life go. At the end of each day, write down the number of hours spent in each of the main areas of your life. An example of what those main categories might look like could be:

Physical Health & Well-Being
Primary Relationship, Spouse, Significant Other
Friends, Family, Children, Relationships
Career/Work
Finances and Money
Physical Surroundings (home, work, etc.)
Spirituality (connecting with a power greater than yourself)
Fun and Relaxation
Making a Difference in your Community and the World

After the month passes, total up the hours spent in each category and reflect back on how you spent your time. Did “reality” surprise you? Or, was it what you expected? How does the way you invest your time on a daily basis make you feel? Is it in alignment with your values and what you really want from your life?

Take some time to take stock in how you invest your most precious asset – time. Remember, tomorrow is promised to no one. Carpe Diem.

5/11/2008

7 Essentials for Success

1.  Have a Plan: Believe in it and follow it exclusively.

2.  Know the Fundamentals: List the things you absolutely have to do to be successful and adhere to them.

3.  Set Goals:  If we have a group or team objective everyone will contribute to it when they know they will benefit from accomplishing it.

4.  Develop the Right Attitude:

a.   Everyone must be totally unselfish.

b.   We’re truly number 1 when no one cares who gets the credit.

c.   The difficult thing about our job is we’re always faced with change. We must change to meet the changing needs of our customers.

5.  The Next Step:

a.   Get people involved so they care.

b.   Ask and find out who’s got a problem. Helping others solve problems helps the helper more than the person helped.

c.   It’s very important to have people so secure in what they do that they revel in others’ success.

6.  Commit to Teamwork:

a.   Everyone’s committed to each other’s success.

b.   Satisfaction comes from how well you’re doing the job.

7.  Improve Your Self Image:

a.  It’s important for everyone to have a faith and belief in themselves.

b.  You can’t be productive if you don’t have a great deal of confidence in yourself.

c.  Self image grows when you follow these three rules:

●       Do What’s Right

●       Do the Best You Can

●       Treat Others The Way They Want to Be Treated. 

4/27/2008

Getting Yourself to Do What You Know You Need to Do to Succeed
by Ruben Gonzalez

How do you find the consistency to keep doing what you know you need to do day after day after day after day?

Great question. I've struggled with it all my life. How do I get myself to consistently do what I know I need to be doing?

Like anything else, it's all a mental game. And the best way to win the mental battle is by using everything in your arsenal at once. To do a variety of things to get you to perform like you know you should.I use all of the following techniques...

1- Focus on the dream. Focus on what drives me to act.
2- Write the goal down and read it daily.
3- Constantly visualize how great it will feel when I reach my goal (to get my desire for gain working for me).
4- Visualize how awful it will feel if I don't reach my goal (to get my fear of loss working for me).
5- Using positive affirmations whenever a negative thought enters your mind.
6- Sharing your goal with people who support you to build pressure.

Doing all of this is simple but not easy. But it works.

I will illustrate all six techniques by telling you what I'm doing to get myself back into "fighting weight."

It all goes back to the dream. It all goes back to your  "Why?" It all comes back to having a burning desire that drives you to consistently and persistently do what you need to do.

You need to figure out what drives you. Then you have to develop a burning desire. Your focus should not be on the process. Your focus needs to be on the dream.

When I was training for the Olympics it was a lot easier for me to eat right and to be in the gym six days a week. The Olympic dream was so powerful that it got me to do whatever it took to get the job done. 

In order to keep myself driven I used both positive and negative motivation. I constantly visualized how good it was going to feel when I made my Olympic dream a reality, and I visualized how awful it would be if I didn't make it.

Sometimes what drove me to go to the gym was the thought that if I didn't, there was going to be some German competitor hitting the gym today and I didn't want him to get ahead of me.

After the Olympics, there was no longer any driving force to get me to go to the gym. There was no driving force to get me to eat right. Consequently, in no time I put on a lot of weight. I just could not get myself motivated to go to the gym.

In fact, I started coming up with great reasons not to go. I rationalized (read - telling yourself a rational lie) not working out by telling myself that I needed that time to work on building my speaking business. I was working very long days, but that was no excuse. I had become sedentary, and not only did I not reduce my caloric intake, I probably increased it.

I tried all kind of things to get myself to watch my weight but I did not stick with anything because there was no driving force.

Finally, I realized that for the last year I had been focusing on the process without a dream. I needed to tie a huge reward and a huge penalty to losing or not losing X amount of weight by a certain date.

Remember, your goals need to have a date to create urgency. And they need to be written down and read daily.

I love to travel. And my family is due for a vacation. So I tied losing weight to a family vacation.

The pressure is on now baby!

My focus in not losing weight. It's on the vacation!

I also changed my mindset on how going to the gym affects my business. I've come to the realization that I have a lot more energy when I'm working out. Believe it or not, after working out, my body is energized for 3-4 hours. Plus I'm more mentally alert. I guess the ideal would be to work our early in the morning, and go out for a jog or a bike ride at lunch to get energized for the afternoon.

So I have changed my perspective. Instead of looking at it as time lost, now I look at it as a way to get me to work at a peak level.

Another technique I use is saying positive affirmations to push my food thoughts away. Every time I think about food I say, "I'm a lean, mean, speaking machine!"

Believe me, It works! Last night I was at a bookstore and I noticed that somehow I had wound up in the "Cookbooks" section! It's like I'm being tested! I was actually leafing through a cookbook dreaming away before I realized what I was doing! I put the cookbook down and said my new mantra, "I'm a lean, mean, speaking machine!" and got out of that section as fast as I could.

Today, while driving through Houston , I passed hundreds of restaurants. The whole time I was wearing my new phrase out!

Another thing you want to do is to put some pressure on yourself by telling others about your goal. That's exactly what I'm doing by writing this article. Now I have people watching me to see if I really do it.

So fight it on all fronts. Develop the habit of controlling your thoughts or else your thoughts will control you!

Copyright © 2008 Ruben Gonzalez

4/20/2008

You Are What You Believe
By Joe Love

The most important quality you can ever develop is having belief in yourself, the belief that you can, without a shadow of a doubt achieve success in every area of your life. Virtually every person has the capacity to do wonderful things with his or her life. But the greatest single obstacle for most people is self-doubt. Many people wish they could accomplish certain things but lack the belief that they can actually do it.

When people under achieve in any part of their life, it is their beliefs more than anything else that hold them back. Self-limiting beliefs act as breaks on our ability to achieve our goals. Many of us have high hopes, dreams, and aspirations, but we let doubts creep in and undermine our talents, abilities, and effectiveness.

Each one of us has feelings of inferiority because we feel that we are not good enough. We think that we are not as good as other people, and we feel that we are not good enough to acquire and enjoy the things we want in life. Often we feel that we don't deserve good things. Even if we work hard and have some achievements in our life, we often feel that we are not really entitled to our successes.

The Universal Law of Belief says that whatever we believe, with feeling becomes our reality. We don't believe what we see; instead, we see what we believe. Our beliefs form a screen as to how we see the world, and we never allow any information that is not consistent with our beliefs to pass through it. Even if we have beliefs that are totally inconsistent with reality, we won't let them through because our beliefs have become true for us.

The most common and also the most harmful beliefs are the ones that are self-limiting. These are beliefs about yourself. For example, believing that you can't achieve something because you don't have enough money or education. You might believe you can't achieve something because you are the wrong sex, race, age, or it is because of the economy. Most of these beliefs are not true, but they will hold you back nonetheless.

The fact is, you deserve every good thing that you are capable of acquiring through the use of your talents. The only real limitation on what you can be and have is if you lack the desire. If you set a goal and want to achieve it badly enough, nothing in the world can stop you from achieving it, as long as you're willing to persist long and hard enough.

To develop positive beliefs, you have to decide exactly where you want to end up in the future. The clearer you are about the result you want in your future, the easier it will be for you to change your actions and behaviors in the short term. This in turn, will assure that you achieve what you want in the long term.

Once you've clearly decided on the type of person you want to be, you will have already taken a major first step in developing new beliefs. In order to incorporate your new beliefs into your every day life, you have to discipline yourself to act exactly in every situation as if you already were that person. When you begin to act like the successful person you want to become, you will actually adopt their values, qualities, and characteristics. And they will then become a permanent part of your personality.

If you consistently act like the person you want to become every day and in every situation it will begin a chain reaction. Your attitude will change and become more positive. This will then build stronger and more positive beliefs. And your beliefs will then, exert a positive influence on your values.

You have no limitations on your potential except for those that you believe you have. Successful people are not extraordinary or special in any way. They are not different from you or me. But, all successful people do have the unwavering belief that they can accomplish anything that they really want in life. You are a good person. From this day forward, see yourself as the very best you can be, and refuse to accept any limitations on your possibilities. Once you develop that belief in yourself, and you act in accordance with your beliefs, your future will be unlimited.

Copyright(c) 2004 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc. 

4/13/2008

Take A Chance

by Ruben Gonzalez

"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today."
- James Dean

The most successful people in the world are risk takers. As soon as the see an opportunity, they move quickly and make something happen. They have a special quality that sets them apart from less successful people. They take initiative in everything they do.

Successful people accept responsibility and take action when they see something needs to be done. They move quickly. They don't suffer from paralysis of analysis. They just do something, anything that will get them closer to their goal.

By taking action - massive action - they build momentum and soon good things start to happen. One of my business mentors likes to say, "Most people need to think less and act more." Another of my mentors always says, "Done is better than perfect." Another way to say it is - implement now, perfect later.

Management expert Tom Peters says, "If you want to succeed, be willing to fail. To succeed big, be willing to fail big. To succeed fast, be willing to fail fast. He's absolutely right.

Successful people are willing to try different approaches to reach their goal. They are not worried about failing. They are just focused on the result. They just throw mud on the wall knowing that if they throw enough, some of it will stick.

They never focus on the approaches that didn't work. There's no time for that. Wallowing with self pity is for losers. Winners simply learn from their mistakes and quickly try a different approach.

The faster they move, the more energy they have. The more different things they try, the more likely they are of succeeding. They make a game out of it. And they never take their focus away from the goal. Their attitude is - there is always a way. I will find a way. I will succeed.

A national survey of octogenarians revealed that their biggest regret in life was not having had taken enough risks. Think about that! What they're saying is they realize they did not live life to the fullest and they missed out. When you turn eighty you don't want to have that regret. 

So go for it. Take a chance.

Copyright © 2008 Ruben Gonzalez

4/6/2008

Achievement...

We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.
C. Malesherbes

"I can't do it" never yet accomplished anything; "I will try" has performed wonders.
George P. Burnham

Throughout the centuries there were men who took first steps down new roads armed with nothing but their own vision.
Ayn Rand

Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.
Francis of Assisi

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.
Anatole France

There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened. We all have a choice. You can decide which type of person you want to be. I have always chosen to be in the first group.
Mary Kay Ash

Don't limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as you mind lets you. What you believe, you can achieve.
Mary Kay Ash

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.
Dale Carnegie

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

If not us, who? If not now, when?

John F. Kennedy

Don't let what you can't do interfere with what you can do.
Anonymous

Never be satisfied with what you achieve, because it all pales in comparison with what you are capable of doing in the future.
Rabbi Nochem Kaplan

All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get.
Morarji Desai

Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together.
Vincent Van Gogh

The future is not a gift - it is an achievement.
Harry Lauder

The search for wisdom is a great challenge; to act on wisdom is an even greater challenge.
Siddhaswarupananda Paramahamsa on wisdom

If life were measured by accomplishments, most of us would die in infancy.
A. P. Gouthey

There is no great achievement that is not the result of patient working and waiting.
J. G. Holland

High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation.
Jack Kinder

An achievement is a bondage. It obliges one to a higher achievement.
Albert Camus

"Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience."

Victoria Holt

3/30/2008

Moments

By Jorge Luis Borges

translated by Alastair Reid

If I were able to live my life again,

next time I would try to make more mistakes.

I would not try to be so perfect. I would be more relaxed.

I would be much more foolish than I have been. In fact,

I would take very few things seriously.

I would be much less sanitary.

I would run more risks. I would take more trips,

I would contemplate more sunsets,

I would climb more mountains,

I would swim more rivers.

I would go to more places I have never visited.

I would eat more ice cream and fewer beans.

I would have more real problems, fewer imaginary ones.

I was one of these people who lived prudently

and prolifically every moment of his life.

Certainly I had moments of great happiness:

Don’t let the present slip away.

I was one of those who never went anywhere

without a thermometer, a hot water bottle,

an umbrella, and a parachute.

If I could live over again,

I would go barefoot, beginning

in early spring

and would continue so until the end of autumn.

I would take more turns on the merry-go-round.

I would watch more dawns

And play with more children,

if I once again had a life ahead of me.

But, you see, I am eighty-five

and I know that I am dying.

3/23/2008

The Creativity Creed
By Catherine Franz

I believe that creativity is a natural order of life itself and it provides my life with the purest of energies.

I believe there is an underlying creative force infusing throughout my life.

I believe that when I open my creativity, I am opening the Creator’s creativity.

I believe creativity is part of my destiny and just as important as all living things.

I believe creativity is my Creator’s gift to me. Using my creativity is my gift back to him.

I believe expectation of a fulfilling life attracts with powerful changes when I allow creativity to flow through my beingness.

I believe it is safe for me to discover my own creativity even if it sets new paths not yet discovered.

I believe as I move more towards my creative self, I move towards my own divinity.

I believe I am worth the time it takes to create whatever it is I am to create.

I believe I have the right to have all the creativity I deserve.

I believe that when I allow my creativity to flow throughout my life, I tap into the source of all that there is and all that ever was.

I believe that the time I spend creating is as precious as anything else in life.

I believe that as creativity gives to me, so does she deserve from me all my faith mindfulness and commitment.

I believe in my creative self.

I believe in me.

---------------------------------

Here’s also a little poem to ponder:

Today’s the day the sun will rise,

As it did the year before.

To cast its rays on frozen skies,

And renew the world once more.

It should come as no surprise,

Amidst man in all his strife.

This would be the day we share,

To celebrate the gift of life.

3/16/2008

The Platinum Rule^®

We have all heard of the Golden Rule-and many people aspire to live by it. The Golden Rule is not an answer. Think about it: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." The Golden Rule implies the basic assumption that other people would like to be treated the way that you would like to be treated.

Platinum Rule accommodates the feelings of others. The focus of relationships shifts from "this is what I want, so I'll give everyone the same thing" to "let me first understand what they want and then I'll give it to them."

There are four basic personality styles that can and do affect communications and interpersonal relationships at home, work and at play. Namely, the Analytic, the Driver, the Amiable and the Expressive. Everyone possesses the qualities of each style to various degrees and everyone has a dominant style. For the sake of simplicity, we will focus only on dominant styles.

Analytic

·         Often appears cold, detached or to lack enthusiasm

·         Lives according the facts, principles and logic

·         Slow to react, cautious

·         Makes decisions based on facts – needs to know all the facts

·         Avoids risk-taking

·         Focuses on past for future direction

·         Wants to be right the first time

·         Tends to reject involvement

Driver

·         Appears to know what they want and where they are going

·         Competitive

·         Quick to react

·         Makes decisions based on facts and data

·         Willing to take risks

·         Focus on present

·         Seeks power and control

·         Tends to reject inaction

Amiable

·         Appears to place priority on relationships

·         Makes maximum effort to relate

·         Unhurried reaction

·         Decision-making based on personal opinion

·         Tries to minimize risk

·         Focus on present and how actions will affect others

·         Power over others is unimportant, being accepted by others is.

·         Tends to avoid / reject conflict

Expressive

·         Appears communicative, warm, animated

·         Appears more imaginative and creative than other styles

·         Competitive

·         Rapid reaction, impulsive

·         Decision-making based on personal opinion

·         Will take risks

·         Motivated by social recognition

·         Tends to reject isolation

To establish effective communications with different personality types, it is essential first to identify the personality style and understand how they tend to function best.

To help communicate with:  

The Analytical Personality  

With Analyticals, in general, be thorough, well-prepared, detail-oriented, business-like, and patient.

·         Show your support for an Analytic’s principles and thoughtful approach

·         Provide specifics and details – include pro’s and con’s of any suggestion

·         Take time - be persistent. You can’t rush an Analytic

·         Just because you agree on objectives, don’t expect quick implementation – use a documented step-by-step schedule

·         Don’t surprise an Analytic

·         Reward the Analytic by praising the quality of their planning and strategies

The Driver Personality

With Drivers, in general, be efficient and competent.

·         Use “What” questions – don’t dwell on “How,” “Who,” Why” or “When”

·         Don’t waste time trying to build a personal relationship – keep the relationship businesslike

·         Don’t involve a Driver Personality in details

·         Don’t try to change a Driver’s mind with a direct approach. Instead, try to find the Driver’s objectives and find ways to support same.

·         If you disagree with a Driver’s objectives, then take issue with the facts, not the person. Don’t pursue philosophies. Tell him/here why you don’t agree and “what” actions you see as alternatives.

·         Reward a Driver with solid material gain and a job done on time  

The Amiable Personality  

With Amiables, in general, be interested in them.

·         Show personal interest in Amiable as soon as possible

·         Establish a cooperative effort

·         Be patient – you may have to draw out their personal opinions

·         If you disagree, encourage discussion about personal opinions and feelings

·         Indicate and define the specifics of what each person is to do to reach agreed-upon objectives

·         Reward and Amiable with warm personal thanks and praise.  

The Expressive Personality  

With Expressives, in general, be non threatening and sincere

·         Plan actions that support their dreams and intuition

·         Ask their opinions and ideas about people and future objectives

·         Spend time exploring mutually stimulating ideas and possibilities

·         If you disagree, avoid arguing - the Expressive has a strong need to win all arguments

·         Summarize and document what has been agreed upon because the Expressive won’t

·         An Expressive will show little interest in how objectives are to be met

·         Reward quickly with personal recognition.

The Platinum Rule provides powerful life-skills that will serve you well in all your relationships: business, friends, family, spouse, and children. Improved relationships create infinite possibilities. Sometimes I think of John Lennon's song, "Imagine." One of the verses could be, "Imagine there's no conflict, and it’s easy if you try."

The Platinum Rule^® is a registered trademark of Dr. Tony Alessandra

3/9/2008

The Story of the Pencil

by Paulo Cuelho

A pencil has 5 qualities which, if you manage to hang on with them, will make you a person who is always at peace with the world.

First quality:
You are capable of great things, but you must never forget that there is a hand guiding your steps. Your conscience.

Second quality:
Now and then, someone who uses a pencil has to stop writing and use a sharpener. That makes the pencil suffer a little, but afterwards it's much sharper. So you must bear to certain pains and sorrows, because they will make you a better person.
Third quality:
The pencil always allows you to use an eraser to rub out any mistakes. This means that correcting something we did is not necessarily a bad thing; it helps to keep us on the road to justice.
Fourth quality:
What really matters in a pencil is not its wooden exterior, but the carbon inside. So always pay attention to what is happening inside you.
Fifth quality:
It always leaves a mark. In just the same way, you should know that everything you do in life will leave a mark, so try to be conscious of that in your every action.

3/2/2008

I Wish You Enough...

Recently, a writer overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced her departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and he said, "I love you. I wish you enough."

She in turn said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy." They kissed and she left.

He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there, I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say goodbye to someone knowing it would be forever?"

"Yes, I have," I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man was experiencing.

"Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever goodbye?" I asked.

"I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, the next trip back would be for my funeral," he said.

"When you were saying goodbye I heard you say, "I wish you enough." May I ask what that means?"

He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused for a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more. "When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them," he continued. Then, turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger. 

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough “Hello’s” to get you through the final “Good-bye.”
I wish you enough, for our lives can change within a fraction of time.

He then began to sob and walked away. 

Our friends and loved ones, we wish you ENOUGH!

2/24/2008

7 Principals of Leonardo da Vinci

There is a saying by Niccolo Machiavelli:

"...a prudent man must always tread the path of great men and emulate those who have excelled, so that even if his ability does not match theirs, at least he will achieve some semblance of it."

Words have not been spoken nor rang with such truth. da Vinci who many know as a brilliant artist is revered not only as a great artist but also his vast background which includes: botanist, inventor, city planner, mathematician, architect, musician, engineer, physicist, costume/stage designer, geographer, geologist, and noted philosopher. His philosophical genius was revered by Sigmund Freud, who said, “We respect him by learning from him".

Curiosita
An insatiably curious approach to life and an unrelenting quest for continuous learning.

 Dimostrazione
A commitment to test knowledge through experience, persistence, and a willingness to learn from mistakes.

 Sensazione
The continual refinement of the senses, especially sight, as the means to enliven experience.

 Summate
(Literally "Going up in smoke") A willingness to embrace ambiguity, paradox, and uncertainty.

 Arte/Scienza
The development of the balance between science and art, logic and imagination. “Whole-Brain" thinking.

 Corporalita
The cultivation of grace, ambidexterity, fitness, and poise.

 Connessione
A recognition of and appreciation for the interconnectedness of all things and phenomena. Systems thinking.

“The desire to know is natural to good men”
-- Leonardo da Vinci

2/17/2008 

Mindfulness and Laughter: Gaining Clarity While Giggling
By Maya Talisman Frost

Life is funny.

Throughout the day, there are plenty of humorous moments that we tend to ignore. We get so caught up in being earnest that we miss opportunities to gain clarity while giggling.

Sure, there are times when it is considered inappropriate to laugh, but if we're honest, we'll see that if we're suppressing a smile it's a sign that we're fully present.

Not only that, but these are times when we could most use a little laughter to bring levity to an overly-serious situation. The best business meetings--and funerals--I've ever attended included plenty of bust-a-gut moments.

Years ago, during a two-week silent meditation retreat, I got the giggles. Oh, I know, you're supposed to be *serious* about meditating for five hours straight, but I couldn't help it.

It all started when I was roused from my peaceful posture by a certain "KLUNK!" from across the room. I opened my eyes to see that one of my retreat buddies had fallen asleep and landed with his head against the wall. Momentarily unnerved, he quickly straightened up, closed his eyes and put on his best meditator's face.

I, on the other hand, completely lost it.

I managed to stifle the first few giggles, but then they started escaping in little bursts. I tried the ol' coughing technique, hoping to disguise my snorts as expectoration, but I wasn't fooling anyone.

Pretty soon, I saw (well, I did have my eyes open) others looking my way. Nobody else was laughing. In fact, nobody else was even smiling. Clearly, I was the only one who had allowed myself to get caught up in that unexpected moment of hilarity.

I was chagrined, and then annoyed, and continued to watch my response to this incident shift over the next few minutes.

Had it been funny? Of course. Were we supposed to be concentrating fully on the moment? Absolutely. Anything else would be attachment to past regrets or worries about the future.

Okay, so we were focusing on watching our thoughts, and this little interruption was not part of what was going on in our heads. But isn't ignoring what's happening around us the same kind of thing that gets us into trouble back in the Real World?

We go about our lives, obsessing silently, moving mindlessly, getting things done. We fail to notice the wonder and joy and beauty all around us because we are in full scowl mode about the things in our heads.

Well, I'm all for taking time to laugh. Give me a giggling guru over a dour taskmaster every time. The greatest guides--in business, education, and personal success--are those who encourage us to invite hilarity into our lives whenever it happens to appear.

Open your eyes to the silliness around you, and laugh out loud. It's good for your heart in every way.

2/10/2008

Improve Negative Relationships by Changing a Few of the Words You Use

By Harriet Meyerson

How often do you think about the meanings of the words that you use every day? Like most people, do you just utter the words that seem to flow naturally from your mouth? Some of the words that you commonly use may actually have a negative influence on people.

This can create a negative relationship with the very people with whom you would like to have a good relationship. 

Here are some places where you might run into trouble by inadvertently using negative words: leaving a message on an answering machine, talking with a colleague at work, chatting with a neighbor, meeting with your children’s teachers, and relating with your family and friends. 

Here’s how you can eliminate six commonly used negative words and replace them with positive words. 

PROBLEMS become SITUATIONS

A negative statement would be, “I have a problem at work.” Contrast this with the more positive, “I have a difficult situation at work.” 

A problem seems as though it is stuck to you and will always be there. It weighs heavy on your shoulders. A situation, on the other hand, seems temporary and solvable. It has a much lighter feel to it, and it won’t cause as much anxiety. 

ALWAYS and NEVER become OFTEN and SELDOM

A negative statement would be, “You never take me anywhere. We always stay home and watch TV.” Contrast this with the more positive, “ Since we seldom go out in the evenings, and we’re often so tired we just watch TV, I get frustrated. I would love to have a special evening out with you. Can we plan one together?” 

Always and never are negative words because they are rarely true and exaggerate a situation. Since they are usually used to criticize, people feel attacked and become defensive. The worst part is that others may focus on your exaggeration and entirely ignore your message. In the second statement, however, you are explaining your own feelings and desires, so there is no need for your partner to get defensive, and you are more likely to get your wish - an enjoyable evening out. 

SHOULD HAVE becomes COULD HAVE

A negative statement would be, “You should have worked on that management report instead of filing papers.” Contrast this with the more positive, “You could have worked on that management report instead of filing papers.” Using the words, should have, creates guilt and shame for something that has already been done and cannot be changed, whereas the words, could have, don’t condemn anyone. They let someone know he or she had a choice, and this experience then becomes a lesson for making better choices in the future. 

BAD becomes UNWISE

A negative statement would be, “You were really bad for missing work when we had a deadline to meet.” Contrast this with the more positive “Missing work when we had a deadline to meet was not a wise decision. The rest of us had to work overtime. Would you please find a way to make it up to us.” 

Using the word, bad, is a judgment of a person’s character, and causes resentment. On the other hand, using the word, unwise, refers to the natural consequences of the person’s actions, and doesn’t judge a person’s basic character. 

FAULTS become DIFFERENCES

A negative statement would be, “One of his faults that drives me crazy, is that his desk is always a mess.” Contrast this with the more positive, “One of the differences between us is that he keeps his desk messy, while I get frustrated unless everything is put in its place.” 

In using the word, faults, you are judging someone’s actions as right or wrong. Using the word, differences, removes the critical tone, because you are pointing out how you are different, not that one person is right or wrong. 

MISTAKES become VALUABLE LESSONS

A negative statement would be, “You made a mistake.” Contrast this with the more positive, “There is a valuable lesson in what you did.” The first way makes others feel ashamed of what they did, and will probably inhibit them from trying new things in the future. The second way gives others something positive to do - to learn from their actions, thereby encouraging learning and experimentation. 

The bottom line is that words can either be destructive or enriching to your relationships with other people. So, before you allow the words to simply flow out of your mouth without considering what they mean, remember this one very important word - THINK.

2/3/2008

The Hidden Superpowers Of Your Mind"

The mind is an infinite wonder. It has the fantastic ability to transmute your desires into their physical counterparts. You can do anything that your mind can conceive, as long as you have the belief and will power to back it up.

Take the case of cancer patients who were given placebo pills. These are just plain pills that have no healing capabilities. So how did they get well?

The power came from their thoughts. They were told that these pills contain the highest amounts of cancer-fighting ingredients which can effectively cure them in a matter of days.

See how powerful your mind is?

They believed that their health will be restored. They have registered in their minds that these pills will cure them of their illnesses. In the process, the belief embedded within their subconscious came to reality.

So how can you use your mind to achieve your dreams? One of the most effective ways is to use the "as if" principle.

Act as if you are the person you want to be. Act as if you are already in possession of whatever you long to have.

So what do you want to be? You want to be a lawyer, doctor, athlete, or newscaster? Think, act, and feel like one. You'll be much closer to your goal if you're constantly intact with your objective. Be obsessed with your dream. It doesn't mean that if you want to be Superman you'll fly out the window. Not a good idea!

It's not enough that you act like one, but you have to actually ACT. Do what needs to be done.  You might get so lost in your fantasy dream world that you've forgotten to take some action. Let your visions encourage and motivate you to actualize your purpose.

The problem with the people of the modern world is that they are too preoccupied with worries, anxieties, and negative emotions. As a result, they are adversely affecting their state of health.

White lies have become prevalent nowadays in order to ease the burdens or to persuade others to do things that they thought are unattainable.

There was once a weightlifter who couldn't lift weights in excess of 300 lbs. So his coach devised a clever idea and told him that the barbell he has to carry weighs only 300 lbs.  With all his might, the weightlifter managed to put it above his head. After he puts it down, the coach told him that he has just lifted 350 lbs. of weight! It's all in the mind!

A famous person once said, "Whenever you think you can or you can't, you're right."

If you think you are poor, then you are; unless you properly condition your thoughts to the positive mindset.  I know it's
hard to think rich if your environment is not conducive to such way of thinking. Use your imagination then!  Visualize
your house to be a mansion, your old car to be a limousine,... Well you get the picture.

There is absolutely no limit with what the mind can achieve.  But you have to combine belief, will power, and action with positive thinking in order to arrive at your intended destination.

1/27/2008

Making Choices

Joseph Henry, an American scientist and the first Secretary of the Smithsonian Institution used to tell a rather strange story about his childhood. His grandmother paid a cobbler to make him a pair of shoes.

The man measured his feet and told Joseph that he could choose between two styles: a rounded toe or a square toe. Little Joseph couldn't decide. It seemed to be such a huge decision; after all, they would become his only pair of shoes for a long time.  

The cobbler allowed him to take a couple of days to make up his mind. Day after day, Joseph went into the shop, sometimes three or four times a day! Each time he looked over the cobbler's shoes and tried to decide. The round-toed shoes were more practical, but the square toes looked more fashionable. He continued to procrastinate. He wanted to make up his mind, but he just couldn't decide!  

Finally, one day he went into the shop and the cobbler handed him a parcel wrapped in brown paper. His new shoes! He raced home. He tore off the wrapping and found a beautiful pair of leather shoes -- one with a rounded toe and the other with a square toe!  

Joseph learned a difficult lesson about decisions: if we don't make them ourselves, others will make them for us. And wholeness in life can only come about when we take full responsibility for the choices we make.

1/13/2008

Quote(s) of the Day

"Deep down you know you can be remarkable. You shouldn't settle for anything less than your best self, reaching ever closer to your potential--whether as a leader or in any other part of your life." 

Kevin Eikenberry

"The easiest thing in the world to be is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don't let them put you in that position."

Leo Buscaglia

"A successful individual typically sets his next goal somewhat but not too much above his last achievement. In this way he steadily raises his level of aspiration."

Kurt Lewin

"I tell you, deep inside you is a fountain of bliss, a fountain of joy. Deep inside your center core is truth, light, love, there is no guilt there, there is no fear there. Psychologists have never looked deep enough."

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

"If you start to think the problem is 'out there,' stop yourself. That thought is the problem."

Stephen Covey

"All of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today."

Dale Carnegie

"Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling."

Margaret Lee Runbeck

"Whenever you have an opportunity to laugh, laugh;

whenever you have an opportunity to dance, dance;

whenever you have an opportunity to sing, sing -

and one day you will find you have created your paradise."

Osho

"Anything is possible. You can be told that you have a 90-percent chance or a 50-percent chance or a 1-percent chance, but you have to believe, and you have to fight."

Lance Armstrong

Motivational Messages - 2010

Motivational Messages - 2009

Motivational Messages - 2007